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Do you ever feel that you are so much to so many that you lose who you really are? Do you ever wonder how to find yourself when you feel lost? We often hear that question, sometimes spoken through confused tears.
It doesn’t matter how well you think you’ve got your ducks in a row. You may have them counted and alphabetized (if you can alphabetize poultry?). However, everyone feels a bit lost sometimes.
You may have taken on more than you can say grace over. Perhaps you have agreed to work (paid for or not) more extensively than your pay scale or security clearance. Maybe you’ve been on autopilot for a while. Now you’ve snapped out of your daze, and…you aren’t quite sure where you are. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
You may have been living by someone else’s version of life and how things need to be. You know you want to do things on your own path but haven’t quite figured out where that path is. Maybe you are ready for what’s next, but…what ….wait…what’s next…again?
Perhaps your version of life is lovely and full but keeping up with it is overwhelming. Do you ever get frustrated with others not keeping up with you? Then realize…Hell!…you can’t keep up with you.
Any one of these things could make you feel discombobulated, confused, or lost. The nice thing about being lost is it’s a great way to cover ground you haven’t been on before. Who knows what you might find. But while you are in the middle of “lost,” it doesn’t feel like an adventure. It feels like…A LOT. So how do you find yourself when you feel lost? 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
How Do You Find Yourself When You Feel Lost?
What do you do? Unfortunately, there aren’t any roadmaps for this kind of lost. However, you can create your own version of GPS. It will work much like the GPS in your car.
It’s created by asking yourself questions to determine your own personal awareness. “What do I really want?” “What matters to me right now?” “What changes am I ready to make?”
“Who am I when no one is looking?” “Who am I when I look past who others want me to be?” “What do I need?” “What makes me smile?” Don’t only ask yourself these questions. Get very quiet and listen for the answers. Listen, write it down, dare to imagine what it would feel like if things were different…if you were different.
This self-made GPS can help you know how to find yourself when you feel lost. It can also help you get to where you want to be. Like the GPS in your car, when you make a wrong turn, you just “recalculate.” You don’t have to go back home and start over. Instead, you start where you are and “adjust” your journey, getting back on course at the next exit.
Our 4 Fabulous Ideas work in the same way. First, you figure out where you are, and then you work your way through the journey from lost to found.
When you are in the middle of feeling lost, it’s hard to believe you can do anything with just 4 ideas. So maybe look this map over in a calm moment, knowing that it will get you “unlost” next time. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Fabulous Idea #1 How To Find Yourself When You Feel Lost: Admit You Feel Lost.
Have you ever lost your car in the grocery parking lot? Have you also tried to ACT like you HAVEN’T lost your car in the grocery parking lot? “Move along.” “Nothing to see here,” right? We will all act like we are just taking the milk and eggs for a walk. We feel dumb, but we don’t want to look dumb.
Have you ever fallen and immediately laughed before you even established whether you were hurt or not? Why do we do that? We do it because we don’t want to look like we don’t know what we are doing. We also don’t want to look like we have forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other.
It’s natural. We are like the cat that runs into the screen door. We shake it off and act as if nothing happened. We do the same thing when overwhelmed, overworked, and feeling lost.
So the first thing to do is admit you are lost. If you won’t admit it to anyone else, at least admit it to yourself. It’s ok. It really is. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, or you aren’t doing it right, or you are a Goofus Dufus. It just means you were paying attention to something else, looked up, and didn’t know where you were. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
It doesn’t mean you are small. It means that life has gotten …big. When life gets BIG, it’s very easy to feel lost. So be easy with yourself and drop the self-judgment. (Judgment will make your butt look big).
Fabulous Idea #2 How To Find Yourself When You Feel Lost: Give Yourself Permission To Be Found.
One of the most powerful things you can ask a coaching client is, “Can you give yourself permission to be better?” “Can you give yourself permission to do this differently” “Can you give yourself permission to look at this from a different perspective?
A passer-by of this situation might think those are ridiculous questions. But they are powerful questions. It’s very common to get used to feeling a certain way, even though we don’t want to feel like that anymore. Deep down, we are afraid to feel anything else.
Sometimes this can even happen on a physical level. Doctors tell us it’s not unusual for a patient to get so used to being sick they don’t know who they are without their illness. But, again, they aren’t broken. It’s just their nervous system’s way of dealing with life when it gets painful or…big.
So how to find yourself when you feel lost? First, give yourself permission to not be lost. It’s time to be found. Give yourself permission for things to be different. Know that you are worth spending time (maybe even money) on yourself and finding your own path. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Give yourself permission to maybe be different than someone else thinks you should be. We can sometimes hold ourselves back and keep ourselves small. Sometimes we do that because we are afraid we might outgrow others around us.
What if they don’t like who I am once I find myself? Know that those who really love you want the best for you. They want you to be your authentic self and feel good about what you’ve found. So when you feel lost, give yourself permission to find yourself.
Fabulous Idea #3 How To Find Yourself When You Feel Lost: Look In The Last Place You Remember Being.
Everyone says, “It was in the last place I looked,” when they lose something. Well, doesn’t that make sense? Why would you keep looking if you had already found what you were looking for anyway?
When you feel lost, think about the last place you were that you didn’t feel lost. Where were you? What were you doing? What mattered to you? That’s the place to start. Where did you last feel terrific in your skin…in your life?
If you were looking at an actual road map, you might think, “Where did I last know where I was?” or “Where did I miss a turn?” It’s the same when you feel you’ve lost yourself and lost your way. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Just pause for a minute. Where did this feeling start? When did this feeling of being lost begin? Where were you when you started heading in a direction you didn’t mean to run? If you feel lost, when did you last not feel lost? What changed? Was it a relationship, a job, or a birthday?
Maybe it was a shift in thinking? Perhaps you looked up and realized that you had built a life where you no longer fit. Perhaps you had a change in how you see the world or how you see yourself. How to find yourself when you feel lost? Look in and connect with the last place you remember being your true self.
Click here for a wonderful little inexpensive gift to yourself or someone else. It helps us remember that there we can and will get, “Unlost”. We wouldn’t navigate the desert with it, but its very cool and the poem is sweet and meaningful.
Fabulous Idea #4 How To Find Yourself When You Feel Lost: Trust That You Can Never Really Be Lost No Matter How Much You Feel Lost.
Feelings matter…a lot. They are our radar of where we are and what we need next. So never discount feelings. Acknowledge this lost feeling. However, know that you aren’t, no matter how much you feel lost.
You are right here, right now. You might not know where here is or be unsure what to do next. But YOU, the REAL YOU, is right within your breath and your heartbeat.
The REAL YOU is in everything that makes you smile. The REAL YOU connects to every soul that you love. You only need to take a moment or maybe a bunch of moments, hours, days, or weeks to give that REAL YOU a chance to breathe. Give that REAL YOU a voice for what is needed now and what is wanted now.
Give The REAL YOU A Safe Place To Be.
Give yourself some time alone. Give yourself time to think and feel. Give yourself a safe place for you to talk to you. Give the REAL YOU a safe place to be.
Grab a journal and start writing what this FOUND version tells you. What is this REAL YOU’s truth? What matters NOW? What does life look like from this new perspective? 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
The REAL YOU Is Never Really Lost.
Know that you were never really lost. But it can feel that way. When you finally listen to the REAL YOU, it can feel like coming up for air. It can feel like taking off an old coat that doesn’t fit anymore. The REAL YOU is always with you, just waiting for you to look for your true path and discover your authentic journey.
You aren’t lost. You are just somewhere you might not have been before. But you’ve got this! This is where all the cool stuff in life comes from…new discovery. Remember, all that wander are not lost. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Pixi-Pebbles…When You Feel Lost.
Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.
We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.
They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.
In our blog 4 Fabulous Ideas How to Find Yourself When You Feel Lost message, these are the Pixi-Pebbles that came to mind.
Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there.
We all feel lost sometimes…and we all feel insecure and uncertain about who we are sometimes. This song is one of our go-to’s when we need a mellow, gentle reminder to not be afraid of insecurities, uncertainties and feeling lost.
It reminds us to simply, follow our process and not be afraid to be exactly who we…not only not be afraid, but to celebrate, embrace and express who we authentically are!
Click Here To Listen to Not Afraid To Be Me by Kendall Payne