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Our experience is that the people who feel the most whole, healthy, and happy have something in common. They live by design instead of default. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with income, age, race, gender, or proximity on the map.
Instead, it has to do with living a life that feels like YOUR LIFE. It’s about living a life that might be big or small, but it’s full of what has meaning for you.7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
As much as we want to believe it, nobody…we mean nobody, has a life of 24/7 bliss. You know, the life where you just wake up, raise your arms so birds and squirrels can put your clothes on for you (all while you whistle Disney princess tunes…cue Frozen).
It’s an easy cop-out to tell ourselves that we don’t have to invest in our life because we will never live like that. Hear us when we say NO one lives like that. We don’t care what Facebook and Instagram tell you.
Everyone’s life has a lot of moving parts. A lot of those parts are pleasant experiences and cool stuff. But, we also all have factors that include things that make us unsure of ourselves, anxious, or maybe even afraid. We all have good and bad days, complicated and easy. Everyone’s life has messy bits mixed in with the “Whoo Hoo!” places. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
We can also fall into the fantasy (and wasted energy) of believing that our lives can’t be by design until something else happens. Maybe when the kids are out of the house. Yes, the kids leave, but they usually can also come back… with more people.
Funny Little Things We Tell Ourselves.
Sometimes we tell ourselves that we will design our life once we get out of school. Perhaps we believe we will make time when we retire. We think life will be so easy to live by design when we just have six Saturdays and a Sunday to think about this week.
Give Us Some Reasons This Can’t Work…Yet.
Perhaps there is a dollar amount attached to your plan. “When I have this much money, I’ll start designing my life.” Maybe it’s after you get a certain degree, make partner at your office, have children, or get married.
Here’s the deal. If you believe that your life can’t be a life that speaks to what is essential to you (because something else has to happen first)…you live by default.
What is a life lived by default? You allow life to run on automatic pilot without intention, inspiration, or input. Maybe you’re not on autopilot. However, you let others decide what matters to you or how you will spend your time. A meaningful life will just have to happen…someday.
The symptoms are pretty easy to spot. If you feel bored, like one week runs into another, like “same poopy doo…different day”, you probably live by default. If everything feels “Meh” and nothing excites you, you possibly live by default.
Maybe you feel excited by a good many things. But they are all things that you believe happen for other people, the cool kids…but not you. This is another symptom when you live by default.
It’s Time To Discover The Real You.
Know that you can start living by design today, regardless of what is happening in your world. This is still true even if you have financial, physical, or emotional challenges. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Maybe you just got divorced or fired. Perhaps you just received a complicated health diagnosis. Those are tough pages in the workbook. But how many stories have you heard where just such things inspired an extraordinary life?
Perhaps everything is ducky, but nothing in your life is anything that excites you. Nothing speaks to you, makes you breathe heavy, or sigh softly.
It’s ok. That isn’t a deal-breaker. But isn’t it time to discover the real you? You can live by design instead of default by deciding how you choose to design your life.
If You Aren’t Actively Doing Something To Contribute To The Design Of Your Life RIGHT NOW, You May Have Accidently Chosen To Live In Default.
Ok…sorry…that was a little loud. But we wanted your incredible and beautiful heart to hear the words. So, in a softer voice, know that once you decide to live your life by design, nothing can stop it from being so.
You are a powerful, soulful being full of options and endless possibilities when it comes to you and your life. (Yes, we mean YOU. There is a reason you are reading this on this day, at this particular time. What you are looking for is looking for you.)
Here’s Why We Are So Sure You Can Live Life By Design.
We can confidently say that because living by design starts in your mind. We have walked this path ourselves and watched many, many others walk the journey along the way. The most significant part is your mindset, your perspective, the way you look at life. So it really does start with a choice, and then the darn thing just sort of snowballs from there. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
It doesn’t matter if you are a single mom raising three kids or a young person right out of college. It makes no difference if you have a house in the suburbs or live the van life. Living by design doesn’t care about your credit score, bank balance, or IQ. You don’t have to qualify for anything. You only have to choose to live a life full of things that have meaning and purpose to you.
Know that to live by design starts with your perspective. We recommend an Enchanted Perspective. What’s that? It’s a way of thinking, doing, and being that helps you experience more of what you choose in your life. It means giving less energy to what you don’t want and so much more to what you do.
Enchanted Perspectives are about knowing what matters to you, what has meaning, and how much sweetness you can allow in your world. It’s about Awareness, Discovery, and Intention.
Now you know we wouldn’t make such a big promise without giving you steps, ways, puzzle pieces, and Pixi-Pebbles to make it happen.
Here are 5 Fabulous Ways To Live By Design. They will get you started, plus follow and serve you along the path.
#1 To Live By Design Get Very Clear On WHO You Choose To Be.
When we talk about designing a life, most everyone wants to start with the big stuff. Let’s get this party started… Right? It’s fun to think about where we want to live and who we want to live with once we get there. What do we want to do for a living, and how will we serve the world? What will our successes be? But the first and most important part of this designed life is getting very clear on who you want to be. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
We aren’t talking about what you want your marital status to be or your title at work. We mean, WHO do you choose to be? Sometimes that has to start with knowing who you don’t want to be. It’s ok to start there if that is easier. The point is to define who you choose to be.
If it helps start with the sentence….” I choose to be someone who_________. “ You can put anything you sincerely feel and choose in that blank space. You can answer it as many times as you like. Here are some examples.
- I choose to be someone who says what they mean and means what they say.
- I choose to be a person of honesty and integrity.
- I choose to be someone who works to understand as much as I work to be understood.
- I choose to be someone who doesn’t have to control every little thing.
- I choose to be someone who approaches others with grace.
- I choose to be a person of patience (even when it’s complicated).
- I choose to be someone who stays above the drama and below the radar.
#2 To Live By Design Get Very Clear On How You Choose To Feel.
It is a novel idea to many that you can choose how you feel. Yes, unfortunately, things come up that overwhelm us. Things happen that excite us, give us the jitters, or are deeply upsetting. We, however, are talking about day-to-day and the space in between.
We all know people who just have a sweet way of looking at most anything. They go with the flow and look for the best in people and situations. But, we also all know people who can find something wrong with anything, no matter how minor or how nice it is.
Everyone gets to choose which one of those they choose to be. It’s a choice to look for the best in people and situations. It’s also a choice to watch for a reason to complain or be upset. Albert Einstein is quoted as saying, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
You get to choose. How do you want to feel? What do you want your perspective to be? We always encourage an Enchanted Perspective of possibilities, intention, discovery, and awareness.
We are always looking for daily reminders that we choose to feel joy in every moment we can. Here is such a great way to start with that first cup of coffee. Click here to get yours.
#3 To Live By Design Get Very Clear On How You Choose To Live.
So now, instead of letting your days go by in a numbing blur of automatic pilot, you’re ready to design your life. You’re ready to find the sweetness in small things and big blessings. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Once you know who you choose to be and how you choose to feel, it’s time for the next part. If you choose to live by design and not by default, what life do you choose to live?
This one is a bit different than the first two. Who you choose to be and how you choose to feel are all on you, by you, with you. Now we take your vision out to play in the world with all the other kids on the playground. How you choose to live involves a lot of things including how you navigate life and the other playmates.
So how do you choose to live? What is your design? You will figure out navigation, application, and action steps as you go. But what do you want your life to look like?
Do you want a big family, or do you see yourself as stealthy, single, and no strings attached? Do you want to live in the city or the country? Do you have a dream house or a dream RV in the woods? Maybe you are downsizing and simplifying. Maybe you finally want to go for it. The sky’s the limit.
Do you want to work for yourself or climb the corporate ladder? Are you ready to retire or ready to go back to school? Are you ready to start a family or ready to be an empty nester? How do you choose to live? What’s up next for you?
When You Close Your Eyes, What Do You See?
When you close your eyes and daydream, where are you? Whose with you? How do you spend your time? What makes you glad to be alive? What is it you want to live right now?
Yeah, you may picture a beach or the middle of nowhere in the mountains. That’s a wonderful vacation but is it really what you would want every day? If it is, go for it. If not, what else ya got? Write it down in as many details as you can see. How do you choose to live?
#4 Get Very Clear On What Action Steps You Need To Take Now And Later.
We talk a lot about feelings and intention, and inspiration. However, don’t forget about the action steps. You got to do your action steps. They are the building blocks for all that inspiration and intention you’ve been collecting. The trick is balance and timing.
If you continually put things off out of lack of energy or excess fear, you’re gonna miss some good stuff. Your designed life will take much longer than it has to take. That can lead to frustration and agitation. Procrastination is not your buddy.
If you come in too hot, wanting to get everything done…NOW…, you will possibly crash and burn. Impatience isn’t your friend either. You can burn yourself out before you even get started. Overkill can also lead to anxiousness and beating yourself up for no good reason.
Once you know who you choose to be, how you choose to feel, and how you want to live, think about your action steps. By “think about,” we mean to write it down in list form. Then, ask yourself, “What do I need to do to get this design started?
Start listing your action steps. Even if you don’t have any idea how to do that step yet, write it down anyway. Don’t try to answer “How” questions when it’s too early in the game to know something. Don’t try to make definitive choices and decisions about topics you don’t have enough information to make decisions on yet.
In a designed life you have to pace yourself. You can’t know everything at once. You can’t do everything at once. You also don’t have to know everything before you can get started. It’s one step at a time.
Understanding Your Design.
Don’t get ahead of yourself. Your brain might tell you that you have to know step #1 through step #20 to be safe. That’s false security. Think of anything important you have already done in life. You had to figure out a whole lot of stuff as you worked through your steps. That doesn’t mean you aren’t prepared. It means you understand how design works.
Now, look at your list. Give it a timeline. What needs to be done first and what needs to wait till you are further down your design? It’s like building a house. You have your design, but you also know that the foundation needs to go down before you start constructing walls and installing windows. If you want to live by design instead of default, it works the same way
#5 To Live By Design Stay Focused But Allow Your Design to Grow, Expand and Change.
Focus is important in any kind of design. It’s no different when you live by design. You let the plan take on a life of its own as you shape what you hope it to look like too. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Hold to the vision and trust your gut to know where to let it grow, expand and change. What matters is does it feel like it’s yours?
Does it hold little things and big things that speak to you, matter to you, and have meaning to you? Does your life represent who you are?
Follow your ideas of how you choose to live, but don’t get too rigid in your design either. When Coca-Cola was invented, chemists were trying to create cough syrup.
When designers created sticky notes, they meant to make super glue. Instead, they realized they had created an adhesive that could stick and restick, pull off, and restick. As Bob Ross said, “Sometimes we don’t make mistakes. We have happy little accidents”
Allow your life design to have room to expand and change as you change and expand. We aren’t saying “make it up as you go” or “build the airplane while you’re flying it” But in any design, you can’t know what you know till it’s time to know it.
So being flexible with your design, leaving room for better, bigger, or more simple, is necessary for growth and expansion. Go with that flow.
Now, you’ve got your Enchanted Perspectives, your steps, and your homework. What are you waiting for? What you are looking for is looking for you. It’s time to live by design instead of default. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives
Pixi Pebbles…To Help You Life By Design.
Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.
We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.
They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.
In our blog 5 Fabulous Ways to Live By Design Instead of Default message, these are the Pixi-Pebbles that came to mind.
Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there.
River Run by Peter Mayer is a perfect little song for remembering that we are carried by our authentic, real self when we get use intention and awareness to create directions (i.e. our next steps). It really is like a River Run!
