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3 Ways To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming

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Trying to figure yourself out? You may have never heard of it, but you can learn to understand yourself better with Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It’s called NLP by the cool kids in the know, and it’s all about learning HOW YOU COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

When you know how you communicate, you can get a better handle on precisely what is going on with you. Isn’t that what we all want to know at one time or another? Once you understand yourself better with Neuro-linguistic Programming, it will also be easier to understand the other people in your life. 

Woman thinking showing left brain thoughts and right brain expressions in color.

NLP helps you learn how to navigate your mental and emotional parts. The word Neuro refers to just that, the mental and emotional aspects of your neurology. Linguistics relates to all things communication. Finally, programming refers to your habits, patterns, and processes of communicating with yourself and others. Still with us so far?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming can give you a creative way to improve your communication and understanding of yourself and those around you. In addition, it can help you improve your awareness of beliefs and meanings that can get tangled up and confused.

Girl with thought bubble with question marks in the bubble.

3 Ways To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

There are many ways to use NLP. But 3 ways to understand yourself better with Neuro-linguistic programming are the powerful yet gentle concepts of Self-Awareness, Self-Care, and Self-Compassion. The cool thing is that you might also better understand the people who matter to you during this process. You might even like yourself more. (How awesome would that be?)

To us, these are also concepts of Self-Discovery. They are 3 ways of experiencing ourselves, to which most give a good deal of lip service. However, almost all would stammer and stutter if asked what they meant. So let’s get to our idea of NLP Self-Discovery.

Woman journaling by tree.

Way To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming #1—-Self-Awareness.

Self-Awareness seems like a big word and an even more extensive thing to achieve. It can also sound a little bit airy fairy and unobtainable. However, in its simplest form, self-awareness just means knowing where you are, what you are doing, and why you are doing it. Who doesn’t want those answers, right? How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

The best way to do that is by creating your own map of your surroundings. Again, we like to use the example of traveling. When you use GPS, and it starts “calculating,” one of the first things it puts into the formula is where you are.

GPS on phone with route 66 highway in the background representing a map used to understand yourself better with neuro-linguistic programming.

But let’s take this old school. We don’t always have that sweet voice coming through our dashboard. So sometimes we need a good old fashion hand-drawn map. How fun to use your own crayons to determine where you are and where you want to be.

One of the presuppositions of Neuro-Linguistic Programming is that the map is not the territory. What does that mean? Well, when you head down Route #66, that is the actual territory. You experience the reality of blue sky, mountains, desert, and beautiful Midwest and Southwest cities.

Self-Awareness crayon drawn map illustrating the map of how to understand yourself better with neuro-linguistic programming.

Your Personal Map.

Your map represents the territory and what you think that environment looks like. This map is your mind. It holds all the beliefs, meanings, and symbols you have accumulated throughout your life. You’ve heard us say it before. Sometimes the issue is not the problem. The meaning you are giving the issue is the problem.

Every map has a little square in the corner with symbols of what everything on the map means. This is called the map KEY. The things your mind has given meaning to create the KEY to your personal map, telling you “what” means “what.” The key on your map is your basis for communicating with yourself and the world.

Woman reading map.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming helps you understand how your mind creates the map of your territory. NLP uses all of your senses to explain how you bring in information from the outside. You process data, file the report in your mind, and then communicate it to the outside world.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming processes give you a compass to navigate your own unique map. It teaches you to stay on the “Cause” side of “Cause/Effect.” With that, it is easier to understand why we are doing what we are doing as we are doing it.

So How Does Neuro-Linguistic Programming Help?

NLP helps you to navigate your life. When something is getting tangled in your mind, frustrated or confused, Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches you to look at what your map is telling you. This helps you navigate your beliefs about yourself and others.  How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Stick figure tangled yellow yarn.

There might be a belief about how life works, tangling your perceptions of what is happening. What if what you understood someone to mean differs from what they said or meant? What if it wasn’t their words but the map in your mind giving an inaccurate meaning to what they said?

For example, your best friend says, “I would love to have lunch, but I just don’t have the time.” Even though she tells you why she can’t go to lunch, your mind map might tell you that when someone rejects you, they don’t want you.

Woman staring out window with a reflective facial expression.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming encourages self-awareness so that you notice feeling rejected and dejected. Then it enables you to ask, “Is that really the territory or just my map of the territory? In other words, is that really what happened, or just what I’m telling myself about what happened?

Try This Neuro-Linguistic Programming Idea.

The next time you are upset, take a half second to ask yourself:

1.)What am I upset about?

2.) What am I telling myself about that?

3.) Is it true?

4.) How could I see this differently and still be truthful with myself?

Another little tip is to try this meditation to calm yourself down and bring yourself back to a place of clarity. Heart-Brain Coherence Meditation (Guided Meditation) 

Quick And Easy Heart-Brain Coherence Meditation Script For Beginners

Woman smiling and hugging herself illustrating self-talk used to understand yourself better with neuro-linguistic programming.

Way To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming #2—Self-Care.

The body and mind are in line with each other. You cannot think of a thought without producing a reaction in your body. When we realize the power of our mind, we learn how important it is to be aware of our thoughts.

Our mind can be a drunk spider monkey swinging on a jungle gym… that’s on fire…in the middle of a hurricane. When we realize the power of our thoughts, we understand that managing our minds is one of the most effective ways to care for ourselves. That changes everything we know about self-care.

You can find plenty of stuff about self-care online. Some apparent suggestions are bubble baths, vacations, eating whole foods, and exercise. We absolutely agree with all those action steps. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Man talking to himself illustrating self-talk used to understand yourself better with neuro-linguistic programming.

However, self-care really works when you bring your mind-body connection into it. If you are doing those activities in a place of “shoulds” and “ought to’s” without getting the inspiration, motivation, and power of your mind, you are undermining your actions.

Your self-talk and dialog are where the magic happens. This is why top athletes spend millions of dollars on professionals to help them “get their head in the game.” They know that inspiring and encouraging yourself will get you much further than scolding yourself. Paying attention to your self-talk is another kind of “inner” self-care.

Woman looking in mirror talking to self illustrating self-talk used to understand yourself better with neuro-linguistic programming.

Talk A Little More Kind To You.

Science has told us for a very long time that talking friendly to your plants helps them thrive. Saying unkind things make them wilt. It works the same way for you. Shaming and harassing yourself only slows you down, wears you down, and hurts your heart.

So the next time you need inner self-care, pay attention to your self-talk. Pay attention to what you are listening to, watching, and reading. Avoid criticizing and shaming yourself.

Need some motivation, inspiration, or courage? Try This Neuro-Linguistic Programming Idea.

1.) Find a song that feels empowering to you.

2.) Close your eyes and be the music video star in your mind.

3.) See yourself in the song. Be that hero,

4.) Feel that feeling throughout your body.

5.) Let your energy build into that powerful feeling.

Repeat until that feeling becomes part of who you are.

purple yellow flower with words self-compassion

Way To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming #3—Self-Compassion.

A tenant in Neuro-Linguistic Programming is that while every behavior isn’t positive, every behavior has a positive Intention. This undoubtedly brought up a lot of deep, philosophical conversations in the NLP training class. How could that be true?

What was realized through this discussion was that our human behavior is pretty messy, tangled, and complex. In most circumstances, if we look deep enough, we will find a good intention. It can be a good intention even if we aren’t cool with the behavior or the outcome. 

When you are disappointed with the world, it’s hard to believe that people often have the best intentions when they say or do something that doesn’t have a good outcome. But, of course, we often hear, “They mean well.” It turns out that really is a thing.

Girl in messy room illustrating you can understand yourself better with neuro-linguistic programming by understanding every behavior has a positive intention.

It’s essential to realize this in yourself also. There has never been a day that you woke up in the morning with the intention of “Gee, how can I screw up as many things as possible today?”

No, you get up with a firm intention of doing your best with what you have to work with. Sometimes that isn’t much, but you get up and go to work anyway. Sometimes, you just can’t get yourself together to do any better.

So what does that mean for you? It means to have compassion when you don’t get it quite right. Have understanding when you mess up. That doesn’t mean you don’t fix what needs to be fixed or change what needs to be changed, but you stop beating yourself up about it.

Woman sitting by lake representing reflective time to understand yourself better with neuro-linguistic programming.

Try This Neuro-Linguistic Programming Idea.

1.) Pick a behavior you would like to improve.

2.) Ask yourself, “What do I get out of this behavior?”

3.) Then ask yourself, “What is a more practical and positive action I could take to get that feeling?

4.) List all the things that you might do that would serve you better. Keep this list on your phone, refrigerator, or bathroom mirror. Then, when you feel yourself considering undesirable behavior, check out your list. What else could you be doing right now?

The hope is that self-compassion gives you a better way to manage yourself. We can’t give what we don’t have. As you find more compassion for yourself, you will find it easier to have more compassion for others.

chessboard illustrating you can understand yourself better with Neuro-linguistic programming strategies.

Life is more of a chess game than a crap shoot. A good life comes from making good choices consistently. When you understand yourself better, you can make better choices and take better action steps.

Better choices and action steps lead to a better way of living. Try these Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques to understand yourself better. Get to know you. You might be surprised. You might find that you are much more awesome than you have given yourself credit for. Self-Care, Self-Awareness, and Self-Compassion might create a new friendship…with yourself. You’ve Got this! Want to find more “You” tools? How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Pixi-Pebbles For When You Want To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming. 

Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.

We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.

They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.

In our blog, 3 Ways To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming here is a Pixi-Pebble that came to mind…

Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there…

In this article, 3 Ways To Understand Yourself Better With Neuro-Linguistic Programming, we suggested using an exercise that helps you create your own inner music video. 

Here is one of our favorite go to songs we use for that exercise. We find it motivational, encouraging, and empowering…and we just love anything Lindsey SterlingClick Here To Check Out Something Wild Calls You Home. 

Meet Nikki:

Nikki has a way of making almost anything meaningful, interesting, and fun. She loves cats, believes you can learn a lot about yourself by shooting hoops in the park, and has a mad love affair with trees. As a Certified Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, Intentional Living Mentor, Reiki Master, and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, she understands how to help others create change and has a talent for making you enjoy doing it.

Enchanted perspectives creator Nikki and Jennifer sitting against tree

Meet Jennifer:

Jennifer is a woman who definitely lives life by design. As an Artist, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Studies Mentor, and Certified EFT Practitioner, she helps others find their unique, magical, and authentic selves. She loves art, music, nature, travel and believes everyone can dance. Jennifer is a compassionate teacher that enjoys inspiring others to find their own creativity, intuition, and passion for life.
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