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4 Great Ways To Live Life By Design And Know What Really Matters To You

looking up into treetops blue sky and sun

Table of Contents

To live life by design and know what really matters to you can be a mystery. We all live in the middle of a busy world. It can feel like we have too many things pulling at us from too many directions.

To design anything… from a kitchen to a vacation to life, you have to find the pieces you need. But, then, it’s essential to put those pieces together with meaning, excitement, and joy. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

It starts by defining what pieces of life have importance to you. But how is this life by design possible with so many people telling you what should matter? 

Then there are the influencers telling you what matters to them. That can all create a great deal of noise in your head that isn’t your flavor, your rhythm, or your song. 

african american woman juggling life's responsibilities

The same issue might come from being out of touch with what is essential or what feeds your heart and interest. Other times you know what matters to you, but that’s the problem. EVERYTHING MATTERS TO YOU! 

Where do you start when you want to live life by design but don’t know what your building pieces are? When everything really matters, and you don’t know how to hook it all together, where do you start? The answer is always the same. Start where you are, wherever that happens to be. 

Let’s begin by defining what living life by design even means. It means living a life made from intention, direction, and discovery. You do this instead of, by default, automatic pilot and following the crowd. 

It defines all the pieces that give your life flavor, texture, and a soundtrack. It’s knowing what you can get excited and curious about and also knowing what you had just as soon skip. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

two hands forming a heart with sky as background contains question what really matters to you

Living By Design Instead Of Living By Default.

Living life by design is getting still to hear yourself think and feel. What really matters to you? What do you care about? What are things you just enjoy doing that don’t feel like work, whether anyone is paying you or not? What makes you smile? What clicks the buttons in your heart every time? 

Sorting those things out is how you know what really matters to you. Once you know them, you start designing them, weaving them into your little basket of a meaningful life. Of course, the opinions of relatives, family, and your tribe might matter. But this is only about what matters to you.

diagram of three circles used to determine what really matters to you

SIDE NOTE: What Is The Difference Between Relatives, Family And Tribe? What Matters To You May Or May Not Matter To Them.

Relatives are that bunch of people in which you are born. You didn’t choose them. They may or may not like you, and you may or may not like them. With relatives, it just is what it is. You are connected by blood, whether you click in any other way or not. What matters to you may or may not matter to them. 

Family might be folks you were born into, or they might be a lovely group of people who feel like home. They are Soul Sisters from another Mister. They are Spirit Brothers from another Mother. They are the family you choose. You may not connect by blood, but you bind by the heart. What really matters to you matters to them.

mosaic wall with profile of a human face

Your Tribe is a mosaic of people who also matter to you, and you matter to them. They might be a relative or part of your chosen family. They might also be wise people you take counsel from or who always direct you toward the best star on the map. You don’t have to censor yourself around them. They want to hear your heart and want to see you shine.

They might be a teacher, your best friend’s parents, or your next-door neighbor. They might even be someone you pay, like a Life Coach, your Hairdresser, or your Massage Therapist. 

Gather Your Tribe.

They could perhaps be someone you click with at work or in your yoga class. They could even be someone you follow on YouTube or have read their books. 

five middle aged multirace people walking talking and laughing

They could be anyone you feel like you connect with, even if you don’t have much in common. The common ground is that they always want to see you happy and always have your back. Again, what really matters to you matters to them. 

Anyone in your life could come under one category or all three at once—the more, the merrier. Even when you are a grown-up, it really does take a village…Now, back to those 4 Great Ways…

small blond boy making funny face and scratching his head question marks behind him on a chalkboard

Great Way To Know What Really Matters To You #1: Be Honest With Yourself-What Do You Want?

An excellent place to start on this Living Life By Design journey is being honest with yourself about what really matters to you. It’s ok if it sounds weird. It’s ok if it’s different, and it’s ok if it doesn’t matter to anyone else. Those you care about might not get it at first. They might not ever get it. That’s ok too. 

Be honest with yourself. What really matters to you? What keeps your attention? What speaks to your heart? What creates emotion in you? What are the things that can lead you to lose yourself? For example, do three hours feel like 30 minutes because you get lost in time? Maybe it’s something that you would love to be paid for, but you also would gladly do it for free. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

illustration in a notebook of nobody is looking list when figuring out what matters to you

Start an honest “Nobody Is Looking” list. There are probably pieces in your world that genuinely don’t matter. There have to be things in your life that you could take or leave. But be honest about what you can’t imagine life not having. 

It might not be big things like how you earn a living or who is in your life. They might just be things that need to exist in your little cubby of the world. When you live by design, you make sure that those things weave into the fabric of your life on a regular and everyday basis. 

“So like what?” we hear you asking. We all have basic needs like safety, a warm and comfortable home, quality food and water, and good people. These are all things we want for ourselves and every human on the planet?

man laying in bed surrounded by piles of money

Living By Design Isn’t About What You Have. It’s About Who You Are.

Someone living by design could have a big life with high-end things or could be living very simple, low maintenance, and minimalistic. You could have the big house on the hill or live the van life. Your paycheck or inventory of things has nothing to do with living a life by design. 

A life lived by design is rich, textured, and full of depth and warmth. We are talking about experiences, relationships, and connections. A life lived by design is a life full of what really matters to you. 

What are the experiential things that give you joy? Be honest with yourself. What makes you smile? What gives life meaning? What really matters to you? 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

sign containing words a life lived by design is a life full of what really matters to you

See if you can narrow it down to 10 items or less. This will give you the pieces to work with to create your life design. So, to get you started, here is our top 10 list.

illustration top ten wants list when figuring out what really matters to you

Great Way To Know What Really Matters #2: Think About Where It Will All Fit In The Life You Already Have.

Once you get your list going, keep building. Then think about what actions steps you will need to fit them into the life you already have. For example, if it really matters to you to live by the ocean and you live in land-locked Kentucky, you are going to have some significant action steps.

But you can add many things to your world with little effort. For example, if you know you need good Jazz music in your life, get a free Pandora subscription and some Dollar Store earbuds. Then you and Charlie Parker can get your groove going. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

woman walking on path through trees and rocks

Some things come from just paying attention, like walking through the park instead of driving. Maybe it’s about having meditation time instead of Facebook time. Perhaps it starts with prioritizing coffee with people who really know how to have a good conversation. 

Yes, some things cost money and time. They might take some planning and refitting. However, some things are just a matter of choosing to give space to have it. What can you do without? 

person looking up at the stars words above person what really matters to you?

Great Way To Know What Really Matters #3: What Can You Do Without? 

Some things are just a matter of choosing to give space to have it. Don’t see any space? Then it’s time to make some space. What can you do without? 

We don’t mean sacrificing. We mean purging. We all have things we don’t need. We also spend time and money on things that aren’t useful. That’s a bad use of resources. 

When you get clear on what you don’t want and what you don’t need, you make space for what really matters. Here is an example:

Illustration do without list when figuring out what really matters to you

Keep It All Simple.

Don’t overthink this list. Just imagine your average day. What is there that you either wish wasn’t, or you could take or leave. These could be standard parts of life like where you work and how you work. On the other hand, it could be someone in our life. One client told us, “I need to get rid of my BS friends and find some real ones.” 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

Maybe the standard parts of your life are fine, but some habits need omitting. Perhaps it’s a way of thinking or something that is an absolute time drain. If it doesn’t fit anymore, it goes into the omit pile. 

illustration of flow contains the words art of allowing

Great Way To Know What Really Matters #4: Allow Yourself To Have What Really Matters To You.

See how this starts coming together? You’ve identified what you want more of in your life. This leads you to what really matters to you. You specified what you could just as easily do without in life. Now there is just one more thing to know.

If you have read down to #4, you are ready for this application and navigation. However, know that this is where the rubber meets the road. You gradually replace what you don’t want with what you do want. The last step is ALLOWING yourself to have what really matters to you.

man playing saxophone at sunset

Some things can happen very quickly for you (like Charlie Parker and those earbuds). If you found a significant change that needs to happen in our list-making, it could take a bit. The point is to start allowing it to happen. 

Permit yourself to have a life by design. Allow yourself to have what really matters to you. Most of the time, it isn’t that we can’t figure out what we want. It’s that we are afraid to let ourselves have it.

What if we fail? What if we get it and are disappointed? What if we get it and then realize we don’t want it. Any of those things could happen. If they do, you will simply choose again.  7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

What if you choose what really matters to you? What if you wake up being crazy in love with your life? What if you don’t fall, but you fly? What if something great happens?

child surfing and flying through the clouds on a suitcase

So Let’s Say This Again.

Be honest with yourself-what do you really want in your life?

Where will it all fit in the life you have?

What will you need to leave out to fit what you really want?

Allow yourself to have what really matters to you.

This might not be something you just know in one sitting. It’s ok to give it some deep contemplation and soul searching. But when you finish, you will be creating and finally living a life by design filled with what really matters to you. 7 Ways to Discover the Real You With Enchanted Perspectives

Pixi Pebbles…For Finding What Really Matters To You… 

Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.

We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.

They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.

In our blog 4 Great Ways to Live Life By Design and Know What Really Matters to You message, these are the Pixi-Pebbles that came to mind.

Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there.

This is another awesome car dancing song (Which, have we mentioned we love doing?!?!)… The feeling with both get from this song helps us connect deeply to living life fully, giving our time and focus to what really matters to us. 

PS…go ahead and some have fun car dancing at the stop light!

Click Here To Listen to Catch My Breath by  Kelly Clarkson

Meet Nikki:

Nikki has a way of making almost anything meaningful, interesting, and fun. She loves cats, believes you can learn a lot about yourself by shooting hoops in the park, and has a mad love affair with trees. As a Certified Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, Intentional Living Mentor, Reiki Master, and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, she understands how to help others create change and has a talent for making you enjoy doing it.

Enchanted perspectives creator Nikki and Jennifer sitting against tree

Meet Jennifer:

Jennifer is a woman who definitely lives life by design. As an Artist, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Studies Mentor, and Certified EFT Practitioner, she helps others find their unique, magical, and authentic selves. She loves art, music, nature, travel and believes everyone can dance. Jennifer is a compassionate teacher that enjoys inspiring others to find their own creativity, intuition, and passion for life.
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