8 Clear Steps: How To Make A Good Choice About Anything
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A good life comes from making good choices. But the question is, “how to make a good choice about anything?” when life moves so fast. There are so many details and pieces of life flying around your head. It’s easy for confusion and information overload to happen.
For two decades, we’ve each worked with people either needing to make a good choice or needing to undo a bad one. But, seriously, how do you make a good choice?
There are probably as many suggestions on that as there are questions. However, we know about feeling stuck in life. We’ve found a way to sort a situation to help make a good choice about anything. (here’s additional info about feeling stuck in life) 7 Clear and Easy Steps When You Feel Stuck In Life
Give Yourself Some Grace.
Can you own something before we get to sorting and making good choices? First, the times you’ve made a poor choice… you probably didn’t know it was a poor choice at that moment.
If you are like most people, one of two things happened. You either didn’t understand the options or didn’t understand the good and not so good consequences of your choice.
Yeah, it happens. But very seldom does anyone say to themselves, “This is a terrible idea that is probably going to cause me pain and anguish, but I’m doing it anyway.”
That might feel like a thrill for a teenager (their brain isn’t fully formed yet). But that thrill is not how most adult brains work. Most of us want to make a good choice and create that better life.
As adults, we have a sense that nudges us. We’re afraid of making mistakes but want answers quickly. However, seldom are our important choices wreckless. If anything, we overthink things and then get tangled up in all that thinking.
So much gets put in the mix, like what you want, what you feel you “should” want, and what everyone else wants. Then sprinkle in the good opinions of what Instagram and Facebook say about it. It can all create a nice tangled mess. This is what makes us feel stuck in life.
What Do You Want?
Sometimes something looks right. However, in your heart of hearts, you know it isn’t suitable for you, no matter what anyone else says. Sometimes, a situation might feel crazy to everyone else, but you know it is your path and can’t imagine doing things any other way.
The big question is, do you know when you are following your heart and your path? When are you tangled in the chatter in your head? When is it all just noise and blah blah blah between friends, family, and the internet? 7 Clear and Easy Steps When You Feel Stuck In Life
Our big secret to sort and untangle all the options, is pretty simple. Get it on paper. Most people can’t do long division in their heads. They need school tools (paper and pencil) to get it out of their brain and out where they can see it. Sorting out good choices is the same way.
It’s always surprising how hesitant people are to get things out of their heads and out on paper. It’s like they think they’re cheating at being grown-ups or something if they have to write it down before they can sort it.
Getting all the pieces out on paper is no different from using a calculator for an algebra test. It’s not only allowed. It’s encouraged.
The way to make a good choice about anything is by asking yourself questions and then sorting out the answers. The belief that rational, mature grownups never have to sort things out on paper is not valid. In reality, it is one of the most popular ways that the great minds of our times made decisions. 7 Clear and Easy Steps When You Feel Stuck In Life
Here Is A Clear List Of Questions To Walk You Through Making A Good Choice About Anything.
1. What Good Choice Am I Called To Make?
Well…What do you want? Put this in the form of a question. Make it as direct and concise as possible. It’s hard to find the answer when you don’t understand the question yet.
Let’s say you know what you want is to go back to school to get a better job. You know you want this, and you want to do it in the most practical way.
So you might start with the clear question.
Would it be better for me to:
(a) work and go to school, which would take longer but I could pay as I go.
(b) take out a loan for school and expenses and go to school full-time to get it done quicker and start earning more money quicker?
Another example would be if I want a healthy relationship with a solid, mature, joyful person, do I choose(a) Bill, (b)Joe, or ( c) neither?
Get clear on your question, and it will be easier to see your options. When you understand the question and the options, you can make a good choice about anything.
2. Is It Time To Make This Choice?
Procrastination is not usually a good plan. However, sometimes we try to choose before we have all the information. Sometimes we try to make a decision when it’s impossible to have all the pieces yet.
An example: Knowing your job is going to transfer you. But not knowing where or for how long. Trying to choose between renting or owning your next home when you don’t know the where or how long will be useless. It’s not time to make a good choice about homeownership yet.
It’s easy to get frustrated or impatient. We want to know what we want to know…when we want to know it. But things come in steps and in their own order. So don’t try to make a good choice before you can possibly see the option to make a good choice.
3. Get Rid Of The “Shoulds” And “What Ifs.”
You know what the “shoulds” are. They are that feeling that comes over us when making a choice. What “should” I do if I were a responsible or nice or good person? What “should” I do if I want to play it safe?
Then there are everyone else’s “shoulds.” What “should” I do if I want people to be ok with my choice? What “should” I do to keep my significant other, my kids, my parents, my boss happy?
Go ahead…if it matters to you, write it down. Seeing them in writing will help you remember that the “shoulds” aren’t even an actual thing most of the time. Who says you “should” do this or that? So often, we hear, “But THEY will think I’m crazy.”
That idea usually dissolves like sugar when we ask who “they” are in this choice. “They” is usually just our fear talking because “they” have no say so in this choice. Sometimes, when pushed, we find that “they” don’t even exist.
Ask yourself, “What would I do if I wasn’t worried about what anyone else would think about my choice?” Then, “What would I do if I did what I want to do instead of what I think I “should” do? What is my gut saying?
Get some “what ifs” out there on your paper too. For example, “What would I do if money were no object?” What would I do if I weren’t afraid of doing it wrong?
“What would I do if I didn’t need anyone else’s approval?”
4. What Are My Options?
Often we hear people say, “I don’t have a choice?” We declare right here on our honor and in your honor that there is always a choice. There are always options.
You might not like any of the options. There might be only one option you would even consider doing. But you always have options. With some time sorting on paper, you might find more opportunities.
An example would be the option of filing for bankruptcy if you have money issues. Maybe it is an option you would never consider by choice. But it is still an option to go on the list.
In acknowledging that option you wouldn’t consider, you may come across other options you hadn’t thought of yet. So get it all out on paper.
5. Narrow Those Options Down To The Best Two.
Once you have written down all your possible options, see if you can narrow them down to two good choices. If not, try three tops.
Narrowing down is a big step and will allow you to focus and get to the details. If there are more than two really GOOD options, go ahead work with more. Just know that more takes longer.
Once you have chosen the best options, get some more paper. Put one option on the top of one page in all capital letters. Put the other at the top of another page. If you are working with two options, you should have two pages. If you are working with three options, you should have three pages.
6. Get Clear On What You Want And Make A Good Choice.
Now we’re back to the beginning. WHAT DO YOU WANT? What is it you are trying to create? What is it you want to feel? Who is it you want to be?
Keep that in mind as you look at your final good choices on each page. We will now determine which one gets you closer to what you want, how you want to feel, and who you want to be?
Now Let’s Make A Good Choice.
Consider what you really want to come from this good choice. Think about each page and the options written on them. Here’s what you are gonna do next:
Draw a vertical line down the center of the page, creating two vertical columns.
At the top of one column write, “Why this is a good choice for me right now”.
At the top of the other write “Why this is not a good choice for me right now.
List as many things as you can think of in each column.
Now…go get a cup of coffee or walk the dog.
When you come back look at what you wrote.
From these list choices, looking at your options and your “why it’s a good idea” or “Why it’s not a good idea……….PICK ONE! (oops that was loud but we are excited)
Now write that choice on a separate piece of paper. Don’t worry. This isn’t for keeps yet. You are trying it on, taking it for a little test drive first.
7. Make A Good Choice And Be Solid On That Choice.
To be solid in your choice, give it the magic wand test. You don’t have to have a real magic wand (but if you have one handy, use it). Hold the paper with your possible choice to your chest. Just close your eyes, take a breath and imagine what it would feel like if this choice had already happened. It’s real. Your living that choice.
If it feels joyful, you did well. If it makes your stomach hurt, go back to #5. Make sure you didn’t get tangled up in the “shoulds” or someone else’s version of your life.
Rinse and repeat till you feel excited and a little bit scared about your choice. Joe Vitale said, “Anything worth having should excite you a lot and scare you at least a little.”
To be solid in your choice, protect your new choice. Don’t share it with anyone unless you think this person will be supportive, helpful, and excited for you. Also, share with anyone who has done what you have chosen. They will have good insights and helpful hints you might not have thought about yet.
Don’t share your choice with people who will only create doubt or fear. These people usually doubt everything they do in their own lives and try to make you feel the same way.
That person who can tell you ten ways the most simple things can fail is not someone to talk with about your newfound “good choice.”
8. There’s Nothing Wrong With Choosing Again.
Knowing you can always choose again takes a lot of the fear and anxiety out of any choice. There are very few things that you can’t choose again if you need to. If nothing else, your perspective can be chosen again. (Need a reminder to choose again…check out this sweet I choose ceramic coffee mug.)
Most things in life have a formula or a pattern. A choice is made, and then that choice is adjusted. A change is made here. There’s an option added there. Don’t tell yourself scary stories. It’s ok to make a good choice and then customize it even more for what you need. 7 Clear and Easy Steps When You Feel Stuck In Life
It might feel like adjusting your choice is a fail or a lack of commitment. It’s not. This is how some fabulous things get created in our culture. Fun Fact, when creating Coca-Cola, they were trying to develop cough syrup. When they tasted what they created, they chose again. They chose to make the world’s number one soda pop.
Make A Good Choice About Anything, Even If It Means Choosing Again.
Make a good choice. If it doesn’t work out quite as you planned, choose again. If it needs tweaking, choose again. If you outgrow your choice, use these 8 clear steps to make a good choice about anything and…yep… choose again.
If you have to adjust, that doesn’t mean you did it wrong. It means you are living your life by design and not default. Don’t ever doubt that you can make good choices about anything. Just follow the steps, and remember “You Can Always Choose Again.”
You Can Always Choose Again
I’ve made choices based on passion, inspired by a lover’s face.
I’ve made choices based on restlessness, thinking another life would be in another space.
I have chosen because of promises dangled in front of my eyes.
I have chosen to create my own reality out of someone else’s lies.
But the way I’ve kept my sanity and held on to my soul,
The way I’ve picked up all the pieces that somehow kept me whole,
Is in remembering no matter how it all got started or how it came to an end,
I somehow always remembered, “You can always choose again.”
I’ve chosen to give up who I was so I could love another.
I’ve chosen to stop and rest when I could have gone much further.
I’ve chosen to forget where home was, and I’ve chosen to be lost.
I’ve chosen to buy happiness and forgot to ask about the cost.
But the way I’ve picked up all the pieces that somehow kept me whole
Is in remember no matter how it all got started or how it came to an end,
I somehow always remembered, “You can always choose again.”
~Jennifer j Hunt
Pixi-Pebbles…How To Make A Good Choice About Anything.
Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.
We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.
They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.
In our blog 8 Clear Steps: How To Make A Good Choice About Anything message, these are the Pixi-Pebbles that came to mind.
Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there…
This song is about making good choices when you can and appreciating where you are regardless. It just makes us happy!
Click Here To Listen to Best Day of My Life–American Authors
