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There are important things to know about being an empath to avoid taking on other people’s feelings. It’s a whole different level of self-care. We both own that we are self-proclaimed, card-carrying Empaths. (OK, there isn’t really a “club,” but we might want to start one with cards, a secret handshake, and maybe a snow cone machine for meeting nights).
We have helped clients, students, and friends navigate the many emotions that can show up from anywhere. They might feel like yours, but what if they aren’t? Awareness is the key to not experiencing “Eeeek “and “Ick” for no apparent reason. Are you an Empath? Here are some questions to ask yourself to find out:
- Are you uncomfortable watching sad or violent movies that everyone else seems fine with?
- Do you understand how people feel even when they can’t share their feelings?
- Can you feel something is wrong with someone even though they smile and say they’re OK?
- When you see the guy on TV get punched in the gut, do you instantly feel it in YOUR stomach?
- Do busy places like Walmart or a ballgame feel draining even when no one talks to you?
- Can you tell almost from a handshake whether someone is good for you to be around or avoid?
- Do you feel like you invented the term “read the room” because it’s something you constantly do, whether you mean to or not?
How Many Did You Say Yes To?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re sensitive to other people’s…stuff. You are very potentially a living, breathing Empath (and we will see about getting you that card to carry…lol)
In the past, even the word “Empath” was considered an airy-fairy, hippie-dippy concept. Many in the academic world would tell you that being an Empath just wasn’t real. Now publications like Psychology Today and general medical information websites like Web MD write articles about navigating being an Empath. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better
While many significant universities are studying energy work and the body’s vibrational field, there are still few to no critical studies on being an Empath. That doesn’t mean that being an Empath is not a real thing. It just means that there is no budget for its research. Research is costly, and money is necessary in return for the results.
Till someone like Harvard Medical comes out with its take on the situation, we will share what we know from our personal experience and in helping others. In the spirit of authentic living and finding yourself, here are 9 Very Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care.
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #1: Understand What An Empath is.
Most people are familiar with the words sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is understanding what someone is going through. Empathy is truly putting yourself in that person’s place.
Being an Empath goes deeper. A person with empathy understands how another person might feel. However, an Empath can read another person’s energy field and FEEL another person’s emotions. They can often confuse other people’s feelings for their own.
Empaths are sometimes accused of being too “sensitive” because they seem upset for no apparent reason. But there is a reason. They tend to take on the feelings of a person, a group, or a situation, without even knowing it.
An example of this would be spending so much time with a sad person that they start feeling deep sadness for no apparent reason. Another example would be working closely with someone with a lot of anxiety about their performance at work. You may begin second-guessing yourself when you are confident about your actions.
This is more than just general awareness. Without understanding what is happening, an Empath might believe the emotion is their feelings. In reality, it is just who they hung out with today. With training, you can learn to manage and navigate being an Empath so that it is a valuable skill instead of an obstacle. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #2: Know This Is NOT A Bad Thing.
You might find articles on the internet titled “The Hardship Of Being An Empath” or “How To Get Through The Struggle Of Being An Empath.” We find this a really odd way to look at things.
If you walked into your house and smelled something wrong in your kitchen trash, you wouldn’t grab your nose and say, “I just can’t deal with the struggle of smelling things anymore!” “Being a person who can smell things is just too hard.”
Nope, you would be glad that your trusty nose told you that something icky was in your kitchen and needed to be out of your kitchen ASAP. There would be no theatrics. You would just…take out the trash.
Empaths can be the same way. This practical sense can tell you what is good for you and what is not. It can give you insight and clues you might need to be made aware of. It is an excellent awareness tool.
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #3:
Most People Have Some Level Of Being Empathic.
Another fun little internet fallacy is that being an Empath is very, very rare. That is only because of the minimal amount of research that has occurred. Regardless of the topic, if there have only been three studies in 10 years, the people in the studies appear to be unicorns.
In reality, most people have some sense of intuitiveness and empathic-ness. It shows up as that gut feeling you can’t put your finger on right now. It can feel like “knowing” when you don’t know why you know.
Once you acknowledge that you have these awarenesses and know how to navigate them, they become part of who you are. Those knowings become part of your senses, just like smelling and hearing.
We do have an individual theory of how it works. We have no scientific data, just personal experience and working with hundreds of other Empaths. Here’s how we think this works.
What if we are all born Empathic? Babies are experts at reading the feelings of the person holding them. It’s why an anxious mother usually will have an anxious baby. Small children can read a stranger or a room quicker than any adult.
Suppose we grow up in a safe environment with consistent and emotionally healthy adults. In that case, we lose much of it because we don’t need it. All is well. We trust the grown-ups to take care of anything scary that might be a concern.
Yeah…That’s Not Me.
But what if that isn’t how you grew up? Well then, you have to take care of yourself. You have to be able to tell when the adults in your life are in a good mood and when they aren’t.
You have to be able to tell when this is a safe situation or it’s not. Everyone we have ever known who identified as an Empath had an adult in their life whom they had to stay three steps ahead of for everything to be OK.
This could be an abusive or neglectful situation. It could also be a moody, high-strung, emotionally inconsistent person. You learned to watch this adult’s emotional temperature and anything that might hurt you. You learned to scan and read everything in the room or…everyone in the grocery store.
This skill you learned for survival is beneficial in your daily life. You just have to learn how to manage it and navigate it. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #4: Always Ask, “Is This Mine?”
The biggest navigation skill to being an empath is knowing that everything you feel may not be your feelings. Knowing where your emotions stop and everyone else’s start is essential. “Is This Mine?” is a crucial question.
Know that your brain will not answer you—your gut will. Try this if you are feeling sad, anxious, or unsafe for no apparent reason. Put one hand on your heart and one right between your belly button and your rib cage (your gut where you feel those feelings).
Identify the feeling by asking yourself, “What does this feel like?” If you still aren’t sure, ask yourself, “What feeling does this remind me of?” With your hands in place, ask yourself, “Is this mine?” If it is your’s, the feeling will usually get stronger. If not, it will often get much lighter or go away.
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #5:
OK, It’s Not Mine…Now What?
Once you acknowledge this feeling is accurate but not yours, you have something to work with now. Acknowledge “NOT MINE” out loud if need be. Now go somewhere quiet that feels safe and nurturing to you. It might be nature or your favorite spot on the couch with your blankie. Be very in the moment. Notice everything about your surroundings.
Think about the comfort and sweetness of the space you are sitting, walking…being. Notice how it feels friendly, safe, and comforting. See how this feels like you. Say it out loud. THIS IS MINE. Now you know where to return when you get caught in someone else’s feelings.
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #6: Bubbling Up Isn’t Weird. It’s Good Self-Care.
More and more studies are arising on the human magnetic/electric energy field. It is becoming common knowledge (or uncommon in some groups) that you can “Bubble Up.”
Think of the force field on Star Trek. Think of a Bubble of protective light energy around your body. It sounds like a Sci-Fi Movie, but it is becoming known as Science Fact instead of Science Fiction.
Before leaving your home or stepping into a superstore, business meeting, or family dinner, Bubble Up your energy field. This keeps your energy in your bubble and everyone else’s outside of it. Anyone can do it. You will find easy instructions here. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #7: Own That You Are An Empath And Be Kind To Yourself In Crowds.
Know your limits once you acknowledge you are not overly sensitive but an Empath. Avoiding crowds or family gatherings is almost impossible, so know how to manage your boundaries. This starts with managing your calendar.
If there is a family dinner at Mom’s and you know that you always leave exhausted from such things, then don’t pick that day to also go to the mall. If the crowd at the soccer field leaves you weary, skip the company retirement lunch.
Family is an easy place to take on others’ feelings because this is where you learned to scan a room in the first place. If your family drains you or you know you are taking on their feelings, space your visits when you are up for the energetic challenge.
We aren’t saying become a hermit. We are saying you don’t overextend your social butterfly-ness by being in too many people’s emotional energy fields in one day.
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #8: Fill Yourself Back Up With Alone Time, Quiet Time, And Me time.
Needing alone time, quiet time, and my time is not indulgent or whiney. For an Empath, it is oxygen. Plan this time, like getting a good night’s sleep or eating your veggies. You need it to soothe and comfort your essence. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better
Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care #9: Be Easy On Yourself When You Have To Spend Time With Someone Who is…A lot.
We all have people in our lives who seem to suck all the oxygen out of the room. They might be the high-strung boss, the Debbie Downer Co-worker, or the “It has to be all about me…all the time” family member.
Empaths can be easily manipulated, overwhelmed, and gaslighted when they don’t practice good energy hygiene. Own that you are an Empath and can read this person’s feelings, but that doesn’t mean you have to own them. Practice the previous steps knowing where they stop and you start, Bubbling Up and filling back up.
You’ve Got This!
There are important things to know about being an Empath, and now you know them. If you feel you are an Empath, own it, navigate it, and enjoy the beautiful skill that it is. With awareness and practice, it will get more substantial and valuable daily. There can be great joy in being an Empath. Are you ready to own and embrace it?
Pixi-Pebbles…For The Important Things About Being An Empath
Pixi Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.
We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.
They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.
In our blog 9 Very Important Things To Know About Being An Empath And Self-Care, these are the Pixi-Pebbles that came to mind.
Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there.
Emotions are not something to be afraid of. They are to be celebrated. Just be sure they are your’s. As a way to help you remember this click here to check out this Pixi Pebble Emotions …by Mariah Carey…
