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Affirmations For People Pleasers And Other Enablers

Woman with a facial expression that illustrates a person saying please.

Table of Contents

Affirmations for People Pleasers and other enablers are a collection of counter thoughts for when we catch ourselves giving our power away. We all want to do well and would like those we care about to be pleased with our actions. For this reason, EVERYBODY has at least a little bit of People Pleaser in them.

We all want to do a good job, be appreciated, and contribute to our tribe’s happiness. So, how do you know when your efforts have gone too far? How do you know when you’ve gone from being a positive influence on someone’s life to being a People Pleaser?

Caution sign with the words people pleasing, the signs.

Signs You Might Be A People Pleaser:

  1. When you will do anything to please someone, even if it doesn’t fit who you are.
  2. When what others want matters and what you want does not.
  3. When you crave another person’s approval beyond all else.
  4. When you only feel good about yourself when others praise you.
  5. When your self-worth is based only on other’s opinions about you.
  6. When you go along with someone else, even when you know it’s a bad idea.
  7. When you have weak boundaries with others and allow them to mistreat you.
  8. When you reward bad behavior rather than face conflict with others.
Young boy with glasses appearing with serious facial expression and questions marks above his head.

What Is An Enabler?

There are entire books written about codependency and enabling. A brief and straightforward explanation would be that an enabler has a chronic need to fix other people and their situations. Their problems become our problems. Then, the outcome is usually rewarding bad behavior and the other person not taking responsibility for their actions and choices.

We all want to help other people. We especially want to help those that we love. So, we all have opportunities to be enablers too. Just like People Pleasing, it is when we go too far that it’s a problem. Have you ever tried to help someone with a problem that somehow became your problem? Next thing you know, the solution to this problem matters more to you than the person it belongs to. When this happens, you have become an enabler. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better 

Woman with thought bubble above her head illustrating questions people may have about using affirmations for people pleasers.

So What Is A People Pleaser To Do?

One of the best things you can do to ensure you respond more healthily to those you care about is to get some things straight in your head. Affirmations can be a big help. An affirmation is…just a thought. It’s a straightforward thought you often say to yourself so that it becomes part of your truth.

The trick is that you can’t just say affirmations. You need to believe them and say them to yourself like you mean it. The hope is that with time, affirmations will become your natural response when faced with a situation that calls on the People Pleaser in you.

The best way to get rid of an old belief or process you know isn’t working for you is to replace it with a better one. That is what these affirmations for People Pleasers do for you. They give you an instant and better way to feel and respond. So here we go.

Young adult male with thumbs up and smile illustrating the section of article for affirmations for people pleasers who need constant positive feedback.

Affirmation For People Pleasers Who Need A Lot Of Approval.

Nothing about enjoying praise and approval is unhealthy. But when the need for approval goes wonky, you would sell your soul for that approval. When you do things you don’t approve of to get the approval of others, you know things are wonky. Pay attention. If all that matters is keeping someone else happy without regard to your needs, wants, and happiness, you may be a People Pleaser.

Affirmation: I love doing a good job and feeling appreciated. Yet I also understand my own sense of self-worth.

Affirmation: Other people’s opinions are something I consider, yet they in no way define who I am or what I do.

Affirmation:  I am a kind, hardworking, valuable human being. I appreciate other’s praise. I am also aware of who I am and what I bring to the party.

Affirmation: I am grateful when someone else approves of me. However, what is more important is that I approve of myself. 

Two hands holding the word power with sunset in the background illustrating taking back power affirmations for people pleasers.

Affirmation For People Pleasers Who Give Their Power Away.

There is never a time when giving your power away is a good idea. When you are in a situation where a person gets everything they want, and you get nothing you want, there is a good chance you have given your power away. Also, you’ve possibly traded your power for someone else to be pleased with you. If you are doing all the compromising, you’ve given someone your power to keep them happy. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Affirmation: If I have to give my power away to get along with someone, maybe I don’t really need them in my life.

Affirmation: What others want and need matters to me. However, I matter to me, too.

Affirmation: My personal power is mine, no matter how hard anyone tries to wrestle it away from me and manipulate me.

Affirmation: I care about other people. I also stand in my power and value who I am.

Sticky note with a note that says learn to say no, illustrating the purpose of affirmations for people pleasers who have a difficult time saying no.

Affirmation For People Pleasers Saying “Yes” to something they really don’t want.

Cooperation and the art of give and take is a very cool thing. But something has gotten tangled up when you agree to things you don’t want. It could be something big like where you will live or something small like what the color of your hair should be. What do YOU want? If no one asks you that, not even you, you may be a People Pleaser.

Affirmation: I can disagree with someone and still be kind.

Affirmation: I can say no without being hateful.

Affirmation: I don’t always have to say “yes” for people to like me.

Affirmation: I love how I have learned how to say no and not feel bad about it.

Boss giving an employee thumbs up illustrating one of the section of affirmations for people pleasers who need the approval of others.

Affirmations For People Pleasers Who Need A Specific Person To Be Pleased.

You may be OK with most people in your life. But what if there is one person you must please more than anyone else? Perhaps it’s a parent or a significant other. Maybe it’s even your employer. Nothing is wrong with wanting to do a good job and hoping for an “Atta Boy.” The issue comes when that person’s wants, needs and approval are more important to you than anything else. How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Affirmation: My _________ is important to me, and so am I.

Affirmation: What _______wants me to do is not what I want to do. I don’t have to, and I won’t.

Affirmation: __________ ‘s opinion is very important to me yet not more important than my own.

Affirmation: ____________ may not like this. However, I can’t expect anyone to approve of everything I do.

Two dogs with toilet paper wrapped around them illustrating why affirmations for people pleasers who cannot say no are important.

Affirmations For People Pleasers Who Go Along With Other’s Bad Ideas.

Most people don’t enjoy confrontation or disagreements. But there is a difference between not enjoying them and doing anything to avoid them. Are you in a relationship, a friendship, a family dynamic, or a job without a voice? You may be a People Pleaser. Speak up when someone asks you to be part of something you know is bad or at least bad for you. It might be scary, but it will keep you from undoing mistakes that weren’t even your idea.

Affirmation: I no longer put myself at risk with someone else’s bad ideas.

Affirmation: I can allow others to make their own mistakes, yet I don’t have to make that mistake with them.

Affirmation: I can love someone and not participate in their poor choices.

Affirmation: I don’t have to participate in anything I know is a bad for me.

Wooden fence falling down illustrating a broken boundary.

Affirmations For People Pleaser With Weak Boundaries.

“Boundaries” is a scary word for some people. They picture a barbed wire fence waiting to take someone’s head off. A boundary is a velvet rope with you standing there deciding who and what gets access to you and your energy. You can say, “No, I don’t think I would like that,” without having to say, “HELL NO!” How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Affirmation: Boundaries don’t have to be sharp, rigid, or unkind.

Affirmation: I can hold boundaries and still be a kind and caring person.

Affirmation: If someone loves me, they will respect my boundaries.

Affirmation: I now attract people in my life who respect my boundaries.

Person leaping across two large rocks with words you can do this illustrating it is possible to use affirmations for people pleasers to improve boundaries and well-being.

Who You Are, What You Want, And How You Feel Matters.

Sometimes, it means standing a little straighter and speaking just a touch louder, but you can own your genuine power. You can do it without being unpleasant or unkind. You don’t have to be a People Pleaser to get people to like you.

Get these affirmations in your head as genuine replies to any situation. Before long…they will be your genuine replies from a solid, balanced, grounded, and confident you. Confidence takes practice, and these affirmations can guide you until your words become more authentic. You no longer have to be a People Pleaser. You’ve got this!

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Pixi-Pebbles For Affirmations for People Pleasers…

Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.

We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.

They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.

In our blog, Affirmations For People Pleasers And Other Enablers, here is a Pixi-Pebble that came to mind…

Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there…

The Affirmations for People Pleasers Pixi-Pebble today has a little attitude and a lot of truth. Thanks to Sugarland for reminding us that we don’t have to settle for anything, including losing ourselves in People Pleasing. Click here to check out the video inspiration for Settlin’ by Sugarland

Meet Nikki:

Nikki has a way of making almost anything meaningful, interesting, and fun. She loves cats, believes you can learn a lot about yourself by shooting hoops in the park, and has a mad love affair with trees. As a Certified Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, Intentional Living Mentor, Reiki Master, and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, she understands how to help others create change and has a talent for making you enjoy doing it.

Enchanted perspectives creator Nikki and Jennifer sitting against tree

Meet Jennifer:

Jennifer is a woman who definitely lives life by design. As an Artist, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Studies Mentor, and Certified EFT Practitioner, she helps others find their unique, magical, and authentic selves. She loves art, music, nature, travel and believes everyone can dance. Jennifer is a compassionate teacher that enjoys inspiring others to find their own creativity, intuition, and passion for life.
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