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Most people know that divorce calls for a great deal of healing. But folks don’t talk much about energetic healing after a divorce. You can find all kinds of stuff online about healing your broken heart. Everyone you know has their own story, and every song on the radio makes you think about what just happened.
There are TED talks and Podcasts about how to heal your broken bank account. You know you need that because it doesn’t matter how much money you have or don’t have. It’s always less when you have half of everything you previously owned.
What Is Energetic Healing?
But what about energetic healing after a divorce? What about all the other feelings that make up who you are? What about fear of the unknown? What about knowing where you fit in your previous life’s family dynamics and friend dynamics? What about being a single parent or a good co-parent? How do you figure out who you are now that you aren’t “we” or “us”? Who are you…the real you?
This is what we mean by energetic healing after a divorce. It’s healing the sweet part of your inner being, who you genuinely are. There is the whole package of you, your monkey mind, and the part of you that feels scared. There is the part of you that feels free and like a new beginning is everything. Then there are the parts of you that haven’t quite checked in and ordered room service yet. I Think I’m Ready For A Divorce 7 Key Points To Help You Decide
Let’s Make A Map!
There is no one-size-fits-all for this. We would love to give you a map that tells you each stop to make along the way. We wish we could tell you which gas station has the cleanest bathrooms and the best fried chicken. We don’t. However, we do have some billboards, stop signs, and mile markers that you might want to watch for. Then, you can draw your own map to your best and highest destination.
We’ve started an “energetic healing after a divorce” idea list that we think will help you figure out where you are. Hopefully, it will inspire you to where you want to be and the route you want to take to get there.
Energetic Healing After A Divorce-Idea #1
It’s Ok To Get Lost, Feel Lost, And Know “I’m Lost…”
In the name of keeping our poopy-doo together and getting through the day, we all put on our “Don’t Worry, I’ve Got This!” face. That’s a handy tool and one we use often. But sometimes, you have to be very upfront and honest with yourself. It’s ok to look in the mirror and say to your lovely reflection, “I’m Lost, And I Have No Idea What I’m Doing!!”
Of course, you feel lost at times. YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE! You sometimes feel like you don’t know what you’re doing in this life after divorce. YOU’VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE! I Think I’m Ready For A Divorce 7 Key Points To Help You Decide
Both are true even if you have suffered significant losses, had enormous break-ups, or have divorced previously. You’ve not had a divorce with this person in this way before. Even when you have multiple dismantled relationship moments with the same person, the very last time it happens is…different.
So give yourself some grace and some space. This is big. This is different. This is new territory. It might remind you of a dozen different things. But you have never been in exactly this place with precisely this person with these circumstances before. Be kind to you. It’s ok to be discombobulated, confused, unsure, afraid, and…a little crazy. It will get better, and YOU will get better.
Energetic Healing After A Divorce-Idea #2
It’s Helpful To Just Have A Love Affair With Yourself For Now.
An old song states, “There’s only one way to get over a woman. Find another woman.”
It’s an excellent hook for a country song but terrible life advice. However, it is the first place our ego mind goes. If we are sad and miss our person, we just need to find a new person. Tadah…then we will be okay, right?
Wrong. Then, you will be confused and mixed up. You will start a new relationship when you haven’t healed from the old one. Everything that hurt when you left your marriage will appear in this new relationship. If the new person you choose is unhealed also, you will have another significant level of drama to work in now.
But what if you choose someone who is healed, whole, and ready for a relationship right out of the box? Can’t they help heal you? It might for a little while. But when it comes time to take the relationship past the “new and shiny” part, you won’t be ready.
Then, this lovely person will either try to fix you or rush you, which will not work out in the long run. Your new shiny person is ready for a new and better relationship, but you haven’t had time to work out your own baggage or know what you really want. I Think I’m Ready For A Divorce 7 Key Points To Help You Decide
It’s A New Beginning.
So, in the beginning, have a love affair with yourself. Have cozy Friday nights at home with a blankie and your favorite book. Go for long walks—Journal with a cup of tea. Adopt a cat. You are a different person who has been through a lot. Get to know this new you. Also, remember that just because you are by yourself doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely.
Energetic Healing After A Divorce-Idea #3
If You Have Children, Healing The Energy Of The Family.
Healing after a divorce has other unique facets when you have children. There’s an energy to every family, and that energy’s dynamics have now changed. So, how do you make that energy as steady, whole, and safe as possible? Keep routines as much as you can. Then, add new traditions, habits, and fun things to do along the way.
It’s programmed into our nervous system that “same” feels safe and “different” is scary. It’s why we often stay in situations that aren’t good for us. Even when wrong, we have a sense that “the devil we know” is safer than the one we don’t. So, the more things are the same, the better it will be for your kids. It gives a sense of feeling like everything is gonna be ok.
But Big Changes Have To Happen.
Sometimes, this just isn’t possible, and they have to change houses or schools. Often, they have to split time between 2 houses. Remember that things have energy. Make sure that they have things that have the energy (the feeling, the memories) of their old life before the divorce. It could be favorite toys, books, or blankies. It could be how you pick them up in the same SUV after school at the same time.
It might be having the same rituals you had before, like all that happens before bedtime. It could be that show you always watch on Tuesday night or Friday night homemade pizza. Your life before had an energy. Show your kids that they didn’t lose any of the good-feeling stuff. They just don’t have to deal with the dynamics of whatever was going on with the grown-up before the divorce.
Energetic Healing After A Divorce-Idea #4
Heal The Energy Of Your Thoughts.
It is so easy to go to bed feeling anxious and wake up feeling dread when you have gone through something as big as a divorce. So, one of the most essential parts of healing energy after a divorce is healing your thoughts.
When you start a new life, there will be things that just aren’t in your control. But your thoughts are something you can control or at least navigate. Protecting your thoughts will also heal your perspective. As a sweet byproduct, when you protect, manage, and heal your thoughts, your perspective will also become more positive and light. It’s like magical osmosis.
So, how do you do that when you feel bombarded with emotions and details? Pay attention to what influences your thoughts. We live in a world of influencers, but our real influencers are usually silent and hidden.
Pay attention to what you listen to. Make yourself an “upbeat for no reason” playlist. Use all the songs that you know just put you in a better mood. Look for Podcasts and Videos that talk about how this gets better. If you just can’t muster that yet, listen to things that interest you and might excite you. Think Polar Bear Excursions and trips to the Bahamas or biographies of people you admire.
Protect The Energy Of Your Thoughts.
Gandhi said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with muddy feet.” We recommend the same for you. Stay away from friends who want to talk about “Oh ain’t it awful” or bring up old stories about your Ex or theirs.
Stay away from the news and doom-scrolling. Look for the good things in your life or ways to contribute to something bigger than yourself. When you feed your thoughts with good energy, healed energy comes out the other side.
Find people who have already walked this walk and are on the other side of the fire. They usually have an empowered story to tell. Those are the peeps you want to discuss divorce with on a lunch break. They will tell you there is life after divorce, and yours will be great!
Energetic Healing After A Divorce-Idea #5
Heal The Energy Of Your Emotions.
Your emotions hold intense energy that can pull you up or weigh you down. Emotional, energetic healing after a divorce comes to you in 3 steps:
EXPRESS THEM – cry, scream, be angry, be scared, miss your old life, be
afraid of your new life, or just be numb. Get a counselor, get a coach, or find a thoughtful friend who has already walked this path. Journal, find that song that says it all, and just sit with it.
DON’T WALLOW IN THEM-Expressing emotions is not the same thing as allowing yourself to make them bigger than they are or telling yourself scary stories about what happened. It’s also not a time to tell yourself untrue things like how great your Ex was when they weren’t.
It’s not a time to rewrite the story with emotional details that just weren’t true. It’s also not a time to allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself with no plan for what to do to make it better.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO FEEL INSTEAD? – This isn’t a “fake it till you make it” kind of thing. This involves naming and claiming what you are feeling. Then, choose what you would like to feel instead. If you feel “sad and unsure” but want to feel “confident and like anything is possible,” do this exercise.
The Exercise:
Put your hands on your heart and say, “I breathe in confidence and possibilities.” Take deep, slow breaths. It’s okay if you have no idea what that would look like. You can include, “Even though I don’t know what that really feels like, I breathe in confidence and possibilities.
As you do this, you help soothe and reset your nervous system. This creates an energetic healing you can use whenever you feel challenged, sad, anxious, or unsure.
Energetic Healing After A Divorce-Idea #6
Heal The Energy of Your Body.
When our world is shaken like a mojito, it’s easy to just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. “Wake Me Up When It’s All Over.” Give yourself a chance for a breather and some rest. Reset, and then it’s time for energetic healing after a divorce for your body.
You know the obvious stuff: Nourish your body with live, vitamin-rich food. Drink lots of water. Walk, dance, go to the gym, ride your bike—just move! Do yoga or Tai Chi, whatever helps you feel good in your skin again.
Also, don’t poison yourself. This is not a time to overindulge in too much food, too much alcohol, or too much of anything else that you know isn’t good for you. Yes, it might feel like this is a perfect time for that, but it’s not. For example, sugar can make you depressed and tired or hyper and restless. Alcohol is a natural depressant, and most of the other stuff just stunts your energetic healing growth.
Remember Why You Are Doing What You Are Doing.
Keep these things in mind. Remember, you aren’t exercising because you hate your body. You are participating in sweet, sweaty movements because you love your body.
You also aren’t in training for your next lover. You aren’t doing this to put yourself back out on the dating market or to make yourself a 10 on someone’s list. You are doing this for YOU! You are doing it because it is a healthy, energetic, healing way to make yourself feel wonderful…and you, Darling, deserve WONDERFUL!
Energetic Healing After A Divorce-Idea #7
Heal The Energy Of Your Life.
You can adjust your energetic healing after a divorce by clarifying what you want your life’s energy to feel like. It doesn’t matter whether your divorce was your idea or the last thing you would have ever wanted. Where you are is where you are.
Now it’s time to heal the energy of your life. The first question is, what do you want your life to look like? What do you want it to feel like? What matters to you? What expresses you, and what makes you sparkle? One of our all-time all-time all-time (get the idea) favorite books on this topic is Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life.” It’s been on the best-seller list for over 50 years and inspired a movie (that’s good, but as usual, not as good as the book). You will refer to this book for the rest of your life. You can get it here: You Can Heal Your Life (Book)
You’ve Got This!
Energetic healing after a divorce will make all the other healing easier and quicker. Your energetic healing comes from the core of your inner being. A lot of little things significantly impact building the new you. Gather them as you find them. There is a great life in front of you. You’ve got this!
Pixi-Pebbles for Energetic Healing After A Divorce…
We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.
They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.
In our blog, How To Create Powerful Energetic Healing After A Divorce, here is a Pixi-Pebble that came to mind…
Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there…
We mentioned podcasts a few times in this blog as a way of supporting your energetic healing after a divorce.
One of our favorite podcasts is 10% Happier with Dan Harris. He always has a great discussion and knows a thing or two about overcoming challenging times. You can check out all of his episodes here.
