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If You Want To Live A Happy Life, Stop Thinking These Crazy Thoughts

Woman with her head in her hands illustrating sadness and thinking I want to live a happy life.

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The one thing all humans have in common is that we all want to live a happy life. We want to feel good in our skin. It’s essential that the ground under our feet feels like a sturdy place to stand. We all want to look forward to the future while enjoying today. Isn’t that what YOU want?

However, everyone has some challenges with that. Interestingly, struggle seldom has anything to do with what happens in the moment. It typically has everything to do with what is happening in our heads. We worry about the future and suffer over the past.

How often have you felt you “should” be happy but weren’t? So much of the time, the problem is not the problem but what we are thinking about the problem. Sometimes there isn’t a problem at all. The situation is gone, done, over. But we can’t stop chewing on it.

The thing is, we all think what we are looking for is happiness. What you are really looking for is JOY. Happiness comes and goes. We are happy when we get what we want.

We are happy when what we wanted to happen…happens. We are unhappy when we don’t get what we want, or if something is happening we don’t like. So that’s why we say “Happy” comes and goes. You will feel good more of the time when you reach for JOY.

Black woman smiling and looking joyful reflecting the wanting to live a happy life.

Want To Live A Happy Life? Try On The Feeling Of Joy.

The feeling of joy is much deeper and much more consistent. Unlike happiness (which can pop in and out of your life as a reaction to what’s happening), joy can be a constant. YOU CAN HAVE A PROBLEM AND STILL FEEL JOYFUL ABOUT LIFE. That may in itself sound like a crazy thought, but it’s true.

Joy is a sweet feeling of well-being, maybe for no particular reason. We have all felt it while sitting on the porch petting the cat or sipping our morning coffee. We’ve felt it as we drive home at sunset in October. We’ve all felt the joy of watching new fallen snow, even though we worried about how to pay for Christmas. We’ve all felt joy hearing our favorite song, even though we had just had a hard day at work.

Want to live a happy life? Joy would appear more often and organically if we could avoid the crazy thoughts that chase it away. How we think is what we believe. What we believe is how we see the world. When you change your thoughts, you instantly change how you see life. We all want to live a happy life, so why not make room for a better way of seeing the world?  How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Caticorn sitting in chair on the beach with an umbrella drink illustrating how unrealistic some may think having a joyful life is.

Seeing The World Better Doesn’t Mean Living In Fantasy Land.

We aren’t talking about closing our eyes and thinking about unicorn kittens (even though we’ve told you… we love unicorn kittens). We also don’t mean that you suddenly aren’t aware of the stuff that can be hard in life. We are talking about not thinking about what makes you feel bad that “just ain’t true.”

We have gathered typical thoughts that can tangle us all up at some time or another. If you stop thinking these crazy thoughts, it will instantly encourage a happy life and maybe even an easier one.

Chalkboard with the words I am good enough representing the new thought one needs to have if one wants to live a happy life.

Want To Live A Happy Life? Stop Thinking, “I’m Not Good Enough.”

There is a misconception that confident people are always confident. This misconception is that people who seem to have their stuff together never doubt their worth. That isn’t true. Everyone has self-doubt. It came as a bonus pack with your human-ness.

Sometimes, we all wonder if we are good enough for the people we love. We wonder if we are good enough to do what we are trying to do. We wonder if we are good enough to be sucking up clean air and taking up good space.

So let’s own that. We all feel it. EVERYBODY! We encourage you to recognize that self-doubt is a thing we all deal with. It’s loud and annoying and seldom true. It’s your mind and ego’s way of protecting you from trying new things, speaking your truth, or trusting your inspirations.

Your mind and your ego don’t mean to side-swipe your confidence. Both genuinely think they are keeping you out of trouble. So what do you do when you hear that constant chatter saying that you aren’t good enough to do what you are doing? Give it a new slogan.  How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Let’s Try A New Slogan.

It’s hard to stop thinking about something because we told you to. If we said, “Don’t think of purple hamsters,” that’s all you would think about (see…you’re thinking about purple hamsters right now, aren’t you?)

Give your mind and your ego a new slogan when you feel self-doubt. You can use anything that gently reminds you, “You’ve got this! Excellent teacher and author Louise Hay used to tell herself, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better. Some other outstanding ones you might try are:

  • I have no idea what I’m doing. However, I know I will get better.
  • I am new at this, so I’m learning and will continue to learn.
  • Everyone feels this. It’s just a human thing, and I am a human.
Mom with head in hands with 2 small kids fighting in the background.

Want To Live A Happy Life? Stop Thinking, “Everyone Is Doing Life Better Than I Am.”

This is another misperception. The crazy thing about this thought is that almost EVERYBODY is thinking it. On a shaky day, we all believe everyone is better at life than we are. We’ve all thought, “Whoever left me in charge needs to be fired!”

We are all doing life as we can in the moment. This realization can feel fantastic, or sometimes not so much. It’s hard for folks to believe when we tell them it doesn’t matter how much money you make, what you’ve achieved in life, or how great your kids are. It’s easy to believe everyone else is getting life more right than you are.

KNOW that it’s very human to have this thought. It’s not true even though some days you are sure it is. Own that it is a lie, and you don’t deal in lies. We all have our days of amazing even ourselves. We also all have days of wondering how we make a peanut butter sandwich without catching the kitchen on fire. You’re doing life just fine, wonky days and all. 

Gray haired woman smiling and looking off in the distance like she is daydreaming.

If You Want To Live A Happy Life? Stop Thinking, “My Life Would Be Perfect If I Had Done _________ Better. “

Everyone has regrets about something. We tell ourselves that our lives would have been perfect if we had just gone to college. If we had worked harder, we would be further along. If we had been a better parent, our child wouldn’t be struggling right now. If we had made more money, we would be so much happier. Life would be great if we had married the one that got away, right?

In truth, you can’t know that. Your life would have been different, but you can’t know it would have been better. A great book on this topic is The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. His book gives a beautiful example of how crazy this thought is. We can’t base such a strong knowing on an idea we can never know is true.  How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

Woman with several sticky notes on her face appearing to be in a stressed out emotional state.

Want To Live A Happy Life? StopThinking, “No Matter What I Do, I Should Be Doing Something Else.”

This is the busy person’s Magic Manic Mantra. When you are working, you think of all that’s piling up at home. When you are at home, you think of all that needs doing at work. When you are with your family, you think about the alone time you crave. When you take time for yourself, you feel guilty because you aren’t giving that time to your family!

No matter what you are doing, you tell yourself you should do something else. This crazy thought shatters your energy into little pieces. Then, you try to divvy all the parts of your attention and focus. STOP! This thinking only makes you feel like a bunch of jigsaw puzzles in the same box.

As cliche as it sounds, be in the moment and focus on what is in front of you. Otherwise, you are like a beagle chasing its tail. It’s a brutal circle that never stops unless you stop it. When you are home, the focus is on home. When you are at work, the focus is work. When you are reading a book, the focus is the sentence in front of you.

Person walking up a mountain with a boulder on their back.

Want To Live A Happy Life? Stop Thinking, “I Could/Should Have Done More.”

We will start by saying that any sentence that begins with “Should” is probably not very helpful to you. Want to live a happy life? Try to omit that word from your thinking. Should is a strong word that holds a lot of weight but really doesn’t mean anything.

No matter who tells you what you should do, someone else says you should do something else. Sometimes, both of those people are you. So can we just agree that “I should have done more” is a thought that isn’t helpful? It just can’t be known what you “should” have done.

“Could have done” is much more quantifiable. However, it can be equally untrue. Could you have done more? So much of the time, if you genuinely look at your options, you did all that you could do. At that time, you couldn’t have done more with those resources and what you knew. Often, you can see that you could not do more, nor could anyone else.  How To Improve My Energy Field? 5 Fabulous Ways To Really Feel Better

What If You Could Have Done More?

Even if you could have done more, would that have been a good idea? There is such a thing as doing too much or more than was yours to do. Just because we could have done more doesn’t mean that is what would have created a better outcome.

What if, looking back, you could have done more, and your lack of…experience…knowledge… ability…know how… stopped you from doing it? What if you would SOOoooo do more if you had it to do over again? Then it’s time to own why you didn’t and do better next time. That is all any of us can do.

Woman with punching glove on hand hitting her head with words stop beating yourself up. You can do this.

Want To Live A Happy Life? Stop Beating Yourself Up.

Thoughts that beat us up are not helpful. Our ego wants us to think it makes us better, but it doesn’t. Beating ourselves up only makes us feel bad, doubt our ability to improve, and ruins our confidence. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to anyone you love when they are thinking these crazy thoughts.

You would remind them how far they have come and how much you believe in what is yet to come. Yep, more of that! If you want to live a happy life, stop thinking these crazy thoughts and think more of what you would feel if it was anyone else you care about. Talk to you like you would talk to them, and life will get easier in that very moment. You’ve got this! Have fun trying it.

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Pixi-Pebbles For When You Want To Live A Happy Life… 

Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.

We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.

They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.

In our blog, If You Want To Live A Happy Life, Stop Thinking These Crazy Thoughts, here is a Pixi-Pebble that came to mind…

Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there…

Music and gratitude are two ways we stay connected with a joyful lifestyle. Click here to check out this oldie but goodie on youtube about gratitude… A Grateful Day, narrated by Brother David Steindl-Rast

Meet Nikki:

Nikki has a way of making almost anything meaningful, interesting, and fun. She loves cats, believes you can learn a lot about yourself by shooting hoops in the park, and has a mad love affair with trees. As a Certified Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, Intentional Living Mentor, Reiki Master, and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, she understands how to help others create change and has a talent for making you enjoy doing it.

Enchanted perspectives creator Nikki and Jennifer sitting against tree

Meet Jennifer:

Jennifer is a woman who definitely lives life by design. As an Artist, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Studies Mentor, and Certified EFT Practitioner, she helps others find their unique, magical, and authentic selves. She loves art, music, nature, travel and believes everyone can dance. Jennifer is a compassionate teacher that enjoys inspiring others to find their own creativity, intuition, and passion for life.
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