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6 Big Questions To Discover How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life

Trees in the center of two paths moving in opposite directions.

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“How to find out what I really want” sounds like a simple question. But often, we have done what everyone else wants for so long we don’t know what we want. Perhaps we have settled for less for so long that we have forgotten what we wanted to start with anyway.

The first step is to forget what others said you could have. No one gets to tell you that. (We don’t care what your Momma said.) So forget about what everyone else wants you to want. Of course, the people in our life are important, but they don’t get to decide where our life is going.

Pink flowers with one purple and question what speaks to your heart when figuring out how to find out what I really want.

After that, forget what you believe you are worthy of or capable of being. We all know stories of people starting with less than nothing or less than extraordinary situations. How did they do it? 8 Tried and True Manifestation Techniques That Work 

The common denominator is they all knew what mattered to them and where they wanted to be in the end. It’s about you on a deep soul level. What speaks to your heart?

What Do I Want? 

You might be thinking, “How can I create what I really want when I don’t know how to find out what I really want?” Well, here are 6 Big Questions to help you figure it out.

Monkey looking into mirror back at itself.

How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life Question #1: Who Do I Choose To Be?

When we think about what we really want in life, we often think about core things. We think about relationships, careers, income, and what we want to own. This is all important stuff, but you need your foundation first.

Who do you choose to be in your own skin and your own head? What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be aggressive, calculating, and strategizing? On the other hand, maybe you want to be someone who is always the calm voice of reason. You get to decide.

Cat peaking around the corner with the words integrity equals what I do when no one will know but me.

You Get To Make Your Own Rules.

Where are your values and integrity? We sometimes get a blank stare when we ask someone if they know the difference between honesty and integrity.

Honesty is what you do when others are watching. Integrity is what you do when no one knows but you. So who do you choose to be?

How do you want to be inside your own mind? Yep, you get to choose. Do you enjoy working off nervous energy, or is it your choice to be calm, relaxed, and in the moment?

Consequently, maybe you think this is just luck or genetics, but it’s truly a choice. So who do you choose to be? You make the rules. 8 Tried and True Manifestation Techniques That Work 

Collage of pictures representing things to the question how to find out what I really want

How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life Question #2: Where Do I Choose To Invest My Time, Attention, Income, And Energy?

A Sufi prayer states, “My life is my prayer. How I live is who I am.” This speaks so much truth. How you spend your time, money, and energy will create who you are.

So how about it? Where do you choose to invest all that you have to invest in the world? It is much easier to find out what you really want in life when you know how you want to spend your time. It also helps to know what warrants your attention and your energy. So what do you care about when you check in with your heart?

Cave with entrance in the shape of a heart and ocean in the background.

Your answers will tell you a lot about how you want to make a living, who you want to hang out with, and what you want your vibe to be. Knowing this will give you BIG hints about what you really want in life.

How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life Question #3: What Do I Choose To Matter In My Life?

We often think that what matters to us is…just what matters to us. But it is also a choice and an important one. Do you want scrolling Facebook every day to count? Do you want binge-watching TV to matter? Do you want to invest time and energy into workplace gossip?

Look at the people in your life. Do you want them to know they matter? Do you want to spend time connecting to your significant other? Do you want their feelings and perspectives to matter? Do you want your children to know how much they matter?

Where Do You Invest Your Energy? 

If you care about our homeless population, food insecurity, or animal care, would anyone who knows you know that matters? Do you invest time, energy, focus, and money in helping those causes?

Woman leaping at sunset in the ocean.

What do you want to matter? Both will help you find out what you really want in life. Pay attention to what catches your eye and your breath. They are little hints for what matters to you.

How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life Question #4: What Do I Choose To Experience In My Life?

What we look for is what we find. What do you want to see in your life? There isn’t a big lottery ticket in the sky, and it’s all just luck and scratch-offs. What do you choose to experience in your life?

Do you want a long-lasting committed relationship? Do you choose to have kids? Do you choose to travel? Do you choose to climb a mountain or your career? Do you want to build a house or move to a bigger city?  8 Tried and True Manifestation Techniques That Work 

Hot air balloon with reflection in the water surrounded by clouds and sunset.

What Do You Choose To Matter?

Do you choose things to be sweet and straightforward? Perhaps you want to find spaces to wander, hot air balloons, and adventures. Do you want the big things in life?

Maybe you choose the big stuff but also want not to miss the little things. What do you prefer to experience in life?

Knowing what you choose to experience will give you hints on how to find out what you really want in life. It’s surprising that those things start showing up in life once you decide.

How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life Question #5: What Do I Choose To Have And Receive In My Life?

Sometimes we know what we want, but can you allow yourself to have it? It’s often not the thinking about having that is an issue. It is the receiving of it.

We have problems receiving when we feel unworthy, not good enough, or undeserving. It’s surprising how many people say they don’t have any of those issues.

Then somewhere in the conversation, they will express, “things like that don’t happen to people like me.” Sometimes it will show up as “I’ve made too many mistakes to believe in good things happening.”

Dog looking at human holding dog treat.

Can You Allow Yourself To Have It?

We often meet people who are great manifesters. But, unfortunately, they aren’t good allowers. Can you allow something to come quickly to you, or do you believe that if you don’t work hard at it, it can’t happen?

Do you believe in “struggle”? Do you feel it’s probably too good to be true if something isn’t a struggle?

Our favorite saying is, “If it’s too good to be true…IT’S MINE!” What do you choose to have? But more important is what can you allow yourself to receive? This will tell you tons about how to find out what you really want in life. What do you choose?

How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life Question #6: What Do I Choose My Legacy To Be?

What does legacy mean? What do you want the world to remember about you? What do you want to leave behind? What will you create that will live long after you are gone?

For some, that would be great kids that grow into helpful, kind, happy, and thriving humans. For others, it’s furthering a cause that helps other people.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

Maybe it’s a building, product, or way of doing things. Perhaps it is being of service to others that will live on in their service. Legacy can be hundreds of ways to say, “I was here, and I did something that mattered.” It doesn’t have to mean that you are famous or rich. It only means that you did something that made a difference to…someone.

Older Caucasian man looking off into the distance.

Maybe just as important, imagine looking back on your life in your last days. What would it feel like to know that you had a life well lived? You left nothing on the table and used all you had to share? That’s what we mean by legacy.

How To Find Out What You Really Want?

There is no correct answer to these questions. Get out of your way and only think about what speaks to you. What creates interest in living? What feels exciting and fun, and meaningful?

How could you see you spending your day? What type of people do you want surrounding you? What makes you smile and makes you sigh?

Little girl walking barefoot down road holding sunset.

These are not empty questions. These answers will tell you what you really want. Allow yourself to want what you want, and then allow yourself to have it. Then choose it. 

If You Can Feel It, You Can Have It

Your answers need to feel genuine and authentic to you. In the words of Joe Vitale, your answers should scare you a little and excite you a lot. These answers are your puzzle pieces when you wonder how to find out what” I really want.” Listen to you, the real you. The answers are there.  8 Tried and True Manifestation Techniques That Work 

Pixi-Pebbles For Discovering What You Really Want.

Pixi-Pebbles are songs, quotes, videos, interviews, movie references, and books that we each personally pick for you.

We’ve used these little Pixi-Pebbles to move ourselves from a feeling we’re not enjoying very much…to a feeling that helps us discover our vision of intention, awareness, and direction.

They lead us to hope, possibilities, and a fire under our butt to live life by design instead of default.

In our blog 6 Big Questions To Discover How To Find Out What I Really Want In Life message, here is a Pixi-Pebble that came to mind…

Just a little inspiration to get you from here to there…

Each and every moment we take a breath is precious…the question we all answer is what are we doing that is meaningful and is it really how we want to spend our moments? 

Our Pixi-Pebble for discovering what you really want is from Fearless Soulclick here to listen to their song inspiring us to Live This Day Like It’s the Last. 

Meet Nikki:

Nikki has a way of making almost anything meaningful, interesting, and fun. She loves cats, believes you can learn a lot about yourself by shooting hoops in the park, and has a mad love affair with trees. As a Certified Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, Intentional Living Mentor, Reiki Master, and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, she understands how to help others create change and has a talent for making you enjoy doing it.

Enchanted perspectives creator Nikki and Jennifer sitting against tree

Meet Jennifer:

Jennifer is a woman who definitely lives life by design. As an Artist, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher, Spiritual Studies Mentor, and Certified EFT Practitioner, she helps others find their unique, magical, and authentic selves. She loves art, music, nature, travel and believes everyone can dance. Jennifer is a compassionate teacher that enjoys inspiring others to find their own creativity, intuition, and passion for life.
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