7 Clear And Easy Steps When You Feel Stuck In Life
Table of Contents
It’s 2:00 AM, and you can’t sleep. You type in google by the light of your computer. The question is, “What do you do when you feel stuck in life?” We know about this question. Nikki and I have each spent 20 years with clients, working in therapy and coaching. We’ve heard the question and walked with others to the answer. It’s a question everyone asks at some point, including us.
Maybe it feels like your back is against an emotional wall of what you want and what you should want. Perhaps you feel like there are no options.
Maybe you see plenty of options and don’t like any of them. Sometimes there are way too many options to know what to choose, so you just choose…nothing.
Maybe there isn’t anything “wrong” with anything, but things just feel off. Perhaps you feel bored and uninspired like a 2-liter Coke that’s gone flat in your fridge?
Sometimes we can even feel stuck when life is just fine. Have you built a satisfying life that anyone would want, but you no longer feel like you fit in it? What if there’s not anything terrible going on? But it has been so long since anything good happened? 4 Reasons Wanting More From Life Is Really Great Thing
This Just Isn’t What I Thought Life Would Look Like.
Maybe it’s the realization that often comes with birthdays that end in 5 and 0, like the meaning we give 30 years old, 40 years old, 65 years old, and counting.
It could be a situation where you don’t know what you thought this age (whatever age this is) would look like, but this sure as hell isn’t it.
You’re Not the Only One Who Feels Stuck in Life. We All Go Through Our Process.
It doesn’t matter who you are. Everyone feels stuck in life sometimes. The question is, “how do you get unstuck in your life?”
We all have stories, details, and weird choices that we can’t remember why we chose what we chose. You know the feeling. You can’t go home, but you can’t stay here. 4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wish A Stranger Happy Mother’s Day
We are all unique individuals with our own situations and reasons. We are all figuring it out as we go. However, we also all tend to start in the same place. First, there is the feeling of not being able to move or just nothing moving, period.
Then there is the feeling of not having any choice. It usually dribbles down into, “Why me?” and “How in the world did I get here?” That’s if you even know where “here” is right now.
Next comes the excuses that your brain says are solid reasons why things are the way they are. After that we look for someone to blame because this has to be someone’s fault, right?
If you aren’t careful, you might just wander back to where you started feeling stuck, trapped, and getting nowhere.
Those feelings are good indicators to know something is wrong, but they aren’t a good place to solve the problem. What is that saying, “You can’t get there from here.”
So, you have to start somewhere else.” We suggest that you start from more of an Enchanted Perspective.
So What Is This Enchanted Perspectives Thingy?
We believe in Enchanted Perspectives. Enchanted tends to sound like “Bibbity Bobbity Boo” and fairy dust in your hair. That’s fun, and we like a dose of that now and then ourselves. However, what we mean by “Enchanted” is a way of thinking, doing, and being that helps you experience more of what you choose in your life.
We also mean giving less energy to what you don’t want. To us, the word “Enchanted” means a way to discover your vision, a way to clarify intention, awareness, and direction. We mean “Enchanted” as a way to inspire, create and manifest.
Everyone knows what perspective is. It’s how you choose to look at things. Most people forget they have a “choice” in looking at almost any situation. Have you ever known someone who can find something wrong with anything?
Have you ever known someone who can see the good in even the hard stuff? That is a choice in perspective that can change everything that happens next.
Definition:
So by definition (our definition), Enchanted Perspectives is creating tangible ways to make real choices to create your life by desire and design instead of denial and default.
We strive to live it ourselves. The fun and inspiring part for us is watching you create and manifest as you learn to have Enchanted Perspectives too. What Is An Inverted Bucket List And 5 Meaningful Reasons To Have One
Living in an Enchanted Perspective is a lot of little pieces that create practical and significant change. Let’s map this out with clear steps to getting unstuck in your life. There is plenty of information out there about….everything.
What’s hard to find are “application” and “navigation.” We believe you need all three and include each in our steps. With these 7 clear and easy steps come real and meaningful questions. They are for you to answer for yourself about yourself. So here we go…
Step 1: Get A New Enchanted Perspective- The Difference Between Being Stuck In Life And Being Tangled.
The word “stuck” by definition insinuates that there is nowhere to move, nowhere to go, no options, and no help in sight. But, even if life feels like that, it isn’t very likely to be true.
We’ve all heard of people “stuck” on the side of a mountain who still figure out a way to get down. We’ve read about people being in hopeless situations, but they figured out what to do to get out.
Stuck feels like…well…stuck. But it is seldom what’s going on. What is usually happening is that you aren’t stuck. You are tangled. What if that is what’s happening to you? What if you aren’t stuck, but you ARE very TANGLED? Am I Stuck In Life Or Just Tangled? 6 Insightful Questions To Find Out Now.
What is the difference between stuck and tangled? “Stuck” is a feeling. “Tangled” is the actual situation making you feel stuck. When you keep looking at your life, reciting, “I’m stuck,” you tend to feel unable to move, can’t see options, and maybe even feel hopeless. “I’m Stuck” just gets you more… stuck.
Stuck is a perspective. Once you stop focusing on your “stuckness” and focus on your situation, things start to move again.
You will see the moving parts that got things twisted up in the first place. Once you know what got tangled in your thoughts or choices or beliefs, you’ve got something tangible to work out.
Is Tangled Better Than Stuck?
Tangled is the more accurate word for most of life’s mishaps, regardless of the messy details. Tangled means there might be many moving parts, lots to unpack, lots to consider, and often one side pulling against the other.
However, being tangled is a better situation than being stuck because with stuck can come a feeling of helplessness. When you realize you aren’t stuck, you also know that anything tangled can be equally untangled. Now we can get somewhere. Often, you are just tangled in the overthinking in your head. That can be untangled, also. (Click here to get your overthinking t-shirt!)
I Feel Stuck In Life. Tell Me More About This, “Tangled” You Speak Of.
Think of Christmas lights in the bottom of a cardboard box (the ones you swear you will put back in a more organized way next year). Think fishing reels with lines and sinkers wound around each other.
Think of necklaces wadded up in the corner of your jewelry box. They aren’t stuck. You just have to take a breath, figure out where the ends are, find some patience, and start unwrapping.
What gets wrapped up left, wadded upright, and then twisted upside-down can get untwisted. It can get untangled just as it all got tangled in the first place. The same goes for you and whatever pile of poopy-doo you might be finding yourself experiencing. 5 Easy Ways To Find A Balanced Perspective In A Teeter Totter World
Take one situation at a time. You wouldn’t pile the Christmas lights with the fishing rods, would you? Pick one situation and say to yourself, “this looks like a tangled mess, but what are the parts that are tangled?”
The parts could be the step-by-step way the situation all came to be. It might be the mixed feelings you have about it. Perhaps it’s the influence someone else has on this situation.
Action For Step 1: Pick One Topic To Work With When You Feel Stuck In Life.
Let’s untangle the feeling from the situation. Pick one topic. You may have several. If you make a list, only work with one issue at a time.
Take a piece of notebook paper and write the feeling of one topic at the top of the page. Then below this, draw several circles big enough to write in.
Create one-word descriptions or short sentences describing all the thoughts and feelings on this topic. Put each one in a circle.
Don’t try to figure out what anything means or solve anything. Just get all the pieces sorted out, even if the parts contradict each other, especially if the parts contradict each other.
That’s usually where they got tangled to start with. Need more space? Add more circles. It’s like laying all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle out on the table and just seeing what you have to work with.
Step 2: Define The Problem When You Feel Stuck In Life.
Looking at the untangled parts will help you know what the topic/situation really is. Don’t make this too complicated. If everything in your circles is about how much your job sucks, the problem is probably, “I’m unhappy in my job.”
If the untangled pieces are all about how drab and disconnected your relationship is, the problem might be, “I have a boring, disconnected relationship.”
Don’t be afraid to say it out loud. How can you find answers if you aren’t sure what the problem is? Sometimes we are scared to define the problem because we fear having a problem with no solution.
Please know that your soul is never given a question without the ability to hold the answer. Defining the problem is part of the answer. 8 Clear Steps How To Make A Good Choice About Anything
Action for Step 2: In A Couple Of Spaces Below Your Circles, Write What You Feel Or Think The Actual Problem Is.
Step 3: Feel Stuck In Life? Get Clarity On The Solution You Seek.
Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems with the same mind we used when we created them.” That means the mind that created the problem will not be the same mind that creates the solution.
Unfortunately, as sweet humans, we tend to spend way too much time acknowledging the problem and not near enough focus on the solution.
Staying focused on the problem for too long keeps you in the mind of the problem. We need the mind of the solution. Say to yourself, “I don’t know the answer to this, but what would I know if I did?”
Starting the sentence with, “I don’t know…” lets your brain off the hook, and it will stop trying so hard.
When our mind tries too hard, it just sits and spins like the little wheel on your computer when the internet is slow. Now you can start with a new mind, one that might have something to tell you that you’ve not heard yet.
The solution you need might be something like, “I need a new job,” “We need to find a marriage counselor,” or “I need to find something exciting and challenging.”
Action For Step 3: What Is The Solution You Hope To Find?
Step 4: When You Feel Stuck In Life, Put The Solution You Are Looking For In The Form Of A Question.
Now you’ve untangled the pieces. You’ve defined the problem. You’ve defined the solution you wish you had. So now, take a deep breath. What is your heart-of-hearts question?
If your Fairy Godmother was standing in front of you and you knew she had the wisdom and clarity for your question…what is the question? Finally, with a straightforward question …the answer has room to manifest. How To Move Forward When You Feel Stuck In Life: 8 Awesome Things To Know
Maybe it’s “How do I get out of this job and into another with the least amount of financial loss and company fallout?” Perhaps it’s “If I’m ready to have someone in my life, what would I hope they would be like, and where might that person be?”
Don’t turn this into a sudoku puzzle. Just get clear on what you want to know. This clarity provides your inner being, higher self, and innate instincts something to work with and for.
Science tells us that when you have clarity on your question, your mind and being will work on the answer. It will do this even while doing the dishes or even sleeping.
Action For Step 4: What Is Your Question?
Step 5: When You Feel Stuck In Life, Understand Your Life Spiral And Your Learning Curve.
Anytime you feel a need to get unstuck (tangled) in your life, it’s easy to get anxious. You can start wondering if you are doing it right, taking too long, or making things harder than it has to be.
One of the most comforting things we explain is the Life Spiral. It helps us take a moment to be patient with our process. We can give ourselves room to grow and time to breathe in that patience. Here is how it works:
